


Insanity

by Louie_writes



Series: Mental States and other such uncertain things [2]
Category: haikyuu
Genre: F/M, Funeral, Graphic death but it says that, I‘m too fucking lazy too ad others fuck me, M/M, Mention of sex, Murder Mystery, Plotting, Yakuza, but like hte oteur half where we already knwo everything, idk i cant thing of anything else i may add lter if i give enough fucks, scheeming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26299423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louie_writes/pseuds/Louie_writes
Summary: “Dude are you alright? You are so quiet today.”After a very long moment, his friend looked at him with a worried expression and said,“If you were to die tonight, how would you spend your last day?”———How nad why Kuroo died but for real this time
Relationships: Daishou Suguru/ Yamaka Mika, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsuro/ Yamaka Mika
Series: Mental States and other such uncertain things [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910899
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Creative Chaos Discord Recs





	1. No Regrets

Kuroo Tetsuro would have said it was a morning like any other. Him chewing Kenma’s ear off on their daily commute and Kenma barely responding to him except to tell him he was an idiot or to correct an error or over-exaggeration that he made.

Except, that morning, Kenma didn’t even do that, he just stared holes into the sidewalk ahead of them.

“Dude are you alright? You are so quiet today.”

After a very long moment, Kenma looked at him with a worried expression and said,

“If you were to die tonight, how would you spend your last day?”

With anyone else, this sort of question would start a philosophical discussion about priorities and values, or maybe concern from the question receiver about the question giver’s health and personal well being, but with Kenma it meant something else.

Kenma had ties to the Yakuza, over his extended family tree. Ties he valued and that he wanted to get insight to, but ties that didn’t feel the same sort of affection for him. So chances were, Kenma knew something that Kuroo didn’t, and was subtly warning him in a way. Kuroo swallowed, he had a feeling he was in the same sort of situation before, probably more than once. Living their lives was dangerous.

“I’d tell my loved ones that I appreciate them.”

Kenma looked at him with those sharp eyes of his.

“What’s stopping you then?”

* * *

  
  


Kuroo made a list of people he owed a goodbye to. His mom, his girlfriend Mika, Bo, and Noya.

Since he only had 24 hours and didn’t want to rush things he cut it down to the bare essentials.

He didn’t have time to personally  _ visit _ his mom, but he sure as hell could call her.

“Are you alright dear? You’re not dropping out of school, are you?”

Kuroo laughed awkwardly. Damnit! He was always a bad liar.

“No I just saw a documentary about how under-appreciated moms are by their kids, so I wanted to tell you that I love you.”

“I love you too dear,” his mother responded with kindness in her voice, “take care of yourself.”

“I will,” Kuroo said, his voice breaking.

* * *

He knocked on his girlfriend's door. He had texted to make sure she was actually home, after all, he couldn’t just make his way to her and have her not there.

She opened the door.

He held a bouquet and a white teddy bear holding a heart saying ‘i wuv u’ in her face.

“Happy appreciate-your-girlfriend day!”

She looked at him and the presents in confusion.

“Do I need to be concerned?” Damn the women in his life for being too damn smart to not see right through him. 

She took a moment to smell the flowers with a fond smile. They were her favourites, he knew. After a moment she looked at him and said,

“If this was from anyone other than you I would think you cheated on me and now are trying to deal with the guilt by buying me nice things.”

Kuroo panicked and immediately waved off the accusation.

“No, no, no, no, no! I could never cheat on you, I swear!”

She looked at him with that cheeky grin that he loved so much.

“I know hun. But seriously, what brings you here?”

He played with his hands awkwardly.

“Can’t I come by to love and appreciate my girlfriend?”

She giggled. “When you have a test tomorrow?”

“Yea when I have a test tomorrow,”  _ there is no point in studying if I have more important things to do, and if I can’t guarantee that I  _ could _ take that test tomorrow _ , “Sue me.”

“Well, I certainly won’t  _ stop _ you.” Then she leaned towards him and proposed in a low voice and with that damn cheeky grin again, “how about I invite you inside and you show me just how _ much _ you love and appreciate me?”

Well, he couldn’t say no to  _ that _ now, could he?

——

Kuroo had never cried during sex.

Except for a few rather  _ experimental _ times including cuffs and overstimulation and other controlled factors that were cause for overwhelming but otherwise satisfying tears.

But never once had he had sex in a way that made him so emotional that he full-on cried. But by god, he was close to tears and blowing his cover as he messed up the sheets with his girlfriend one last time.

He closed the door behind him as he left. He breathed deeply to move on, someone else needed his attention.

* * *

Bo had every right in the world to look as skeptical as he did when he held his limited edition Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess collector’s game box in his hand again.

“Bro, I thought you broke it or something?”

“Haha, nah,”  _ oh my god Tetsuro, work on your fake laugh _ , “I was just cleaning and found it today.”  _ And definitely haven’t been secretly playing it the past five years. _

Bo looked at him then, still sceptical, then he laid a hand on Tetsuro’s forehead.

“Are you alright? Do you have a fever or something?” Damn, all his friends could see right through him. “You can come in, Akaashi is making tea anyways.”

_ God no, not Akaashi. He’s too smart and will call me out immediately. Out of all the people I love he is the one I least can say goodbye to _ .

“Nah man, I have another errand to run. But tell him it was nice knowing him.” Bo sent him another really confused look, and Tetsuro turned on his heels as fast as he could before he would be held back.

* * *

“Woah, man my mixer!!” Noya said with real-life sparkles in his eyes. “I was sure you would never give her out again!”

Tetsuro rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

“Haha yea, I think I hogged her for long enough, you should have her back.”

Noya looked at him in confusion.  _ Oh god not him too _ .

“Are you dying or something?”

_ God I hope not. By all the gods willing to listen to me I hope I don’t have to die. _

“Nah I’m just doing some spring cleaning is all.”

“It’s in the middle of autumn.”

“It’s spring in Australia.”

“Fair enough.”

* * *

It was getting late. He had handed out all the things he owed, told the people he loved one way or another that they were important to him, and had half a mind to pack a bag in case he had to flee the country or something.

He got a text from a trusted number about when and where to meet. He made himself ready. His guts were turning over.

* * *

It was 2:30 am, and he stood outside Sanity. A single light was lit on the inside, directly illuminating the seat where he always sat. In the seat across from that sat a hooded figure, slouched over the table.

He put the key in the lock and turned it around. Huh, the hooded figure must have gone in through the back door, then. It didn’t quite close properly so if you knew about it and put enough force into it you could open it without a key.

Tetsuro hung his jacket by the door, went to his seat, and sat down across from the hooded figure. Two cups of steaming coffee sat on the table, both regular-sized, one in front of the figure, and on where Tetsuro sat.

“So what’s the plan?”

The hooded figure lifted their head, and with that also a gun to Tetsuro’s forehead.

A cold shiver ran through Tetsuro’s entire body, and he desperately tried to keep composure as he addressed the person across from him.

“Out of all the people that would do this to me in the end, you were the last person I expected.”

Kenma lowered the gun to the table, still pointing towards Tetsuro though, and took his own cup of coffee in his hand.

“I have been given an assignment, and when I do my job I’ll get promoted.” He took a sip.

Tetsuro shivered with his entire body. Of course, of course, in the end, the one thing that would sway Kenma against him was his goal of leading the Yakuza. He should have known honestly.

“How’d you spend your last day?” Kenma said, a calm and detachedness familiar from his everyday tone. Not imposing, but inviting even, in a Kenma sort of way.

“I—“ Tetsuro swallowed. “I spent it with the people I love. Said goodbye and that I appreciate them.”

Kenma nodded into his coffee.

“A good way to spend one’s last hours.”

“Why—“ Tetsuro swallowed again, adrenaline coursed through his body and tickled in his fingertips as he awkwardly played with his coffee cup. “Why me, why now?”

Kenma’s face turned dark. He wasn’t glowering at Tetsuro though, he was staring into the darkness outside.

“I have been getting too ‘annoying’ with my demands, it seems. I do job after job and I keep asking for promotions but no luck. They said if I did the next one I would get a leading position.”

He looked at Tetsuro then, with piercing sharpness in his eyes.

“It had to be you because you are important to me, and I need to prove my loyalty and dedication.”

So it came down to this. His life as a civilian was over. His  _ life _ was over. Killed in the end by his own closest friend and guilty pleasure of a look into a more exciting life. Somehow, that calmed Tetsuro.

He breathed out deeply, releasing all his anxiety into the world at large, the shivers leaving his body as he accepted his fate.

He had always known that being close to Kenma was dangerous, but watching Kenma manipulate people into doing his bidding had also been fun, and harassing Kenma into physical exercise had been fun as well. Watching Kenma try and fail to come closer to his goal had been like a very risky soap opera.

He’d lived a good life. Tragically short, but no regrets to speak off.

He raised his cup.

“To your loyalty and dedication.”

Kenma looked at him skeptically. 

“Is that really something you want to toast to?”

Tetsuro grinned, “What else am I gonna toast on? A long and happy life?”

“You’re awfully at peace with this?”

Tetsuro shrugged, his cup still raised.

“I am adaptable, and I had time to prepare after all.”  _ My whole life really _ .

Kenma looked at him with that rare, fond smile then.

“You are an idiot.” But he raised his cup as well, “to a life without regrets.”

They clunked their cups together and drank.

The coffee was delightful. It wasn’t quite as good as what Noya made, but a skill like that was hard to match. It had the exact right amounts of sugar and milk though, a benefit of drinking with a life-long friend.

Well, and… 

“Is there Baileys in this?”

“I thought you liked that?”

“I do... it’s just, usually we drink that to celebrate?”

“Just let me be nice to you for once.”

Tetsuro grinned and drank more.

As his cup emptied, dread and anxiety flooded through his body again. He started to shiver again as the reality and finality of the situation truly set in. He sat his cup down, accepting his fate with shaking hands.

Kenma’s face was unreadable as he watched Tetsuro, and even more so as Tetsuro’s vision got blurry with tears.

He clenched his hands into fists, desperately holding on.

He heard Kenma unlock the safety from the gun, the noise made him flinch.

“Anything else, Kuro?”

Tetsuro squeezed his eyes shut, even through the thick curtain of tears all he could see in his vision then was the cold metal of a gun.

“Good luck with your goals.” He responded, voice shaking.

“You’re way too kind for your own good.”

“No regrets.”

  
  


**_Bang!_ **


	2. Yours is in Red underlined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look what you made me do, Tay Swift

_ I don't like your little games, _

_ Don't like your tilted stage, _

_ The role you made me play, _

_ Of the fool, no, I don't like you. _

_ I don't like your perfect crime, _

_ How you laugh when you lie, _

_ You said the gun was mine, _

_ Isn't cool, no, I don't like you (oh!) _

Kenma knew he would be questioned pretty soon since the police spiraled outwards, family, closest friends, work and classmates, loose acquaintances.

__

Kenma fell under the category closest friends, so he was interviewed pretty soon.

__

All good and well for him, it meant he could make himself a picture of the cops working on the case.

__

_ Detective Shimizu and Detective Sawamura. _

__

Shimizu-san was a beauty. Quiet and elegant, but with keen eyes that told you that she was listening to your every word attentively, but with a detached enough face that you didn’t know  _ what _ she was thinking about you. She was either aware of all of your secrets, or her brain played a constant loop of the wii music. You really couldn’t tell.

__

Kenma hated that.

__

Detective Sawamura was like a picture book cop. The sort you could see as the hero in an action movie just as much as a supporting cop character in a children's picture book telling kids about road safety and to please talk to the police if they ever found themselves lost.

__

From what he could tell about their questions they were good and diligent cops. They had a righteous goal in mind and they worked towards that steadily, not afraid to work unpaid extra hours if need be.

__

Kenma didn’t like that either, it made his own job all the more difficult.

__

He just had to charm them into not suspecting him. After all, Kuro had always said that he was good at manipulating people into doing his will. He already had half a plan as to how to do that.

__

“—And then he said he would tell all his loved ones goodbye and that’s the last I ever saw of him.”

__

Something was lacking from his statement, he knew it.

__

It seemed cold and detached, artificial even.

He really dug into his performance anxiety and discomfort with new places as he got called in for questioning, but looking like a nervous wreck was probably not working in his favour as much as he would have liked to, people that were  _ genuinely _ grieving were probably more of an emotional mess in times like this. How bothersome, he hated the emotional labour put into pretending to be a normal person. Maybe he could work around that.

__

“It doesn’t feel real. This morning I still expected him to pick me up from home. I almost missed my class because I kept expecting him to show up.”

__

Well, that was half the truth. He  _ had _ waited longer than necessary, expecting Kuro to show up for real, out of habit alone. The drama of it all was just exaggeration.

__

The cops nodded though, they must have bought his story. Good.

__

“That will be all for now. We will come back to you when we need more information or have a lead.”

__

Kenma got up and nodded. Without making eye contact he bowed and said, “thank you for your service.” He was just about to walk out of the door when he turned around and added for good measure, “I hope you catch whoever did it soon. I’m scared to think it might be someone we know.” Then he nodded again and wished them a good day and left.

__

So much for the cops.

__

——

__

“Kenma-san! Kenma-san! Kenma-san!” Lev yelled at him. “How was the questioning?!”

__

“Lev, shut up, you’re being too loud,” Kenma said in annoyance.

__

Having Lev on his side had it's benefits. Firstly, because Lev was deeper in the Yakuza business than Kenma could ever hope to be.

__

Lev had been cargo from the Russian Mafia, and he and his family had been shipped over when he was young to work for Kenma’s family of Yakuza.

__

Kenma had always envied Lev for getting respect from the elders more easily. He was tall and energetic and in a way intimidating, with his height and his eyes and all, and unlike Kenma, he was always out to seek confrontation.

__

He only had three downsides: He was dumb as they came, he was annoying as hell, and with his 16 years of age, he was almost a decade younger than Kenma.

__

He had one, very beneficial upside though: he was incredibly loyal to everything Kenma said and did. And since Kenma royally lacked in trusty foot folk, he appreciated the support.

__

Kuro had always silently snickered at his expense when Lev had come over loudly trying to gain Kenma’s recognition, and Kenma had made it quite obvious that he was NOT interested.

__

_ But Kuroo isn’t here now, is he _ ?

__

“The cops are good people and hard working. So exactly the opposite of what we need. I’m going to need to keep a closer eye on them.” He thought for a moment. “I already have half an idea of how to do that. But that’s tomorrow's business. Have you organised a meeting with Furukawa?”

__

“Yep! He’s ready to see you at 2 O’Clock!”

__

Kenma nodded.

__

Furukawa wasn’t  _ the _ highest ranking official in their family of Yakuza, but he was the boss's right hand man. He was the one who assigned Kenma to the seemingly endless and futile jobs that had, thus far, led to no significant changes.

__

_ ‘If you kill him the boss is willing to talk to you’. _

__

He damn well better be. Kenma was always willing to make sacrifices and work hard and walk over bodies, but he did NOT make sacrifices in vain. If this was another dead end he would be so pissed that the Saomoto clan would not live to tell the tale.

__

It really was a shame that his relation to them came over his mother's side, otherwise taking over would have been more seamless, being naturally the next in line and all.

__

They met at a restaurant. The  _ Naifu _ . The food was amazing but the customers were always lacking.

__

Well, it made sense, this place was just a front after all, intended to launder money.

__

Kenma sat down with Furukawa.

__

Furukawa nodded at him, somewhat acknowledgingly, then made a show of taking out a folder with Kenma’s name on it.

__

“So,  _ Kozume _ , if I read that correctly,”  _ oh don’t pretend, you’ve known me long enough by now _ , “I see you had an assignment, how did it go?”

__

_ Oh cut it out already. You gave me the job less than a week ago, you can’t have forgotten about it already, let alone not kept tabs on things. _

__

“Job is done. Kuro is dead. The police took my statement earlier today.” He leaned in with intent. “I want my promotion.”

__

“Yea, hmmm,” Furukawa skipped through the folder as if it held any sort of meaning or value, “I’ll talk to the boss about it.”

__

“No!” Kenma said with more fury and determination than he was used to showing. He had jumped up and smacked his hands on the table to amplify his statement. “I want my promotion  **now** .”

__

“Wow, wow,” Furukawa said mildly bemused, “hold your horses. I’ll drop your case by the boss and I’m sure he’ll have an ear for you.”

__

“No,” Kenma prodded Furukawa’s chest with his finger as he spoke, “I’ve done enough for  _ the boss _ to warrant a personal audience and I  **demand** to talk to him directly!” After all, he had committed the biggest sacrifice he was capable of and had nothing left to lose, so speaking up could have no major consequences anymore.

__

“Man, chill-out, the boss doesn’t even know about half the shit you’ve done.”

__

What?

__

“What?!”

__

“Yea I was basically just testing how far you’d go, and man,” Furukawa dared to laugh in his face, “it’s pretty fucking far, gotta say. You killed some people I didn’t like and basically did my job for me. Thanks man. I’ll make sure you get a raise.”

__

Kenma was furious now, able to feel his hair standing on end, rising in his angry tension like an agitated cat.

__

“I. Don’t. Want. A. Raise. I. Want. The. Position. I. Was. Promised.”

__

“And you’ll get it, you’ll get it.” Furukawa assured. “Someday.” He added. “Maybe.”

__

Kenma sat back down, flabbergasted. All this, all he had done, for nothing. Just to be made a fool.

__

To be made fun of by a superior.

__

_ I’m sorry Kuro, so much for a ‘life without regrets’. _

* * *

Kenma was fuming, absolutely fuming when he met up with Lev again.

“How’d it go?” The other asked with enthusiasm as they began to walk, Lev having to actually work at keeping up with Kenma's angry pace.

“Change of plans.” Kenma said with only barely restrained fury in his voice. “We have a hit list and this time it’s people  _ I _ want to kill.”

“Ohhhhhh,” Lev said cheerfully, “who is Kenma-san angry at?”

Kenma stopped abruptly, turning around to look Lev straight in the eyes. 

“The yakuza.”

* * *

First on the agenda was holding Kuro’s funeral. He had already planned to have his hands in it, since it was his fault it had come to this, after all. But with this final turn of events, he had decided to take matters into his own hands completely. He owed it to Kuro to give him the best god damn funeral he could possibly have.

He had already spoken to Kanoka about helping her out, she was a mess after all. She said she had already smelled something amiss when her son had called her out of the blue to tell her he loved her, but she hadn’t expected that he would be found dead with a bullet through his head the next day.

Kenma wasn’t good at comforting people, he never had been. In all honesty, he knew he had no right to tell her everything would be okay, nor ask after any sort of comfort for himself, but he was sure she would be grateful if he took funeral matters into his own hands so that she could grieve in peace.

She was surprised by his proposal, but agreed.

“How kind of you.”

_ Not really, Kanoka. _

* * *

Next on the agenda was step by step planning. Even when he was  _ consumed by fury _ , Kenma wasn’t one to throw himself headfirst into revenge plots without thinking them through.

He hadn’t even seen his own value in it until Kuro had pointed it out.

_ ‘You’re not insane, Kenma.’ _ He had said.  _ ‘Detached, and calculating, but you’re no mad man.’ _

He would multi-purpose Kuro’s funeral to develop a public image. Have his family and friends get a certain impression of him, get the police on his side.

Then he would check his notes on anyone in the Yakuza. Who was on his side, who would jump ship at the first sign of stress, and who needed to go on the hit list.

Then, when he had his team,

**_Shit would go down._ **

* * *

Step one was getting the police on his side. He couldn’t have his plans to slaughter the local yakuza disrupted by getting jailed for a crime he had actually committed. So his first course of action was to drop by the precinct he had been questioned at and ask for help.

Except he got lost.

“Hello there, do you need help?” A police officer with bright, orange hair and a sunny aura asked.

He looked younger than Kenma, possibly even too young to be a police officer.

“I’m looking for Detectives Sawamura and Shimizu.” Kenma said.

“Oh!” The Officer said, somehow with pep and enthusiasm. “They're out right now, but they should be back any minute. I can lead you to their desks!”

The officer was loud and enthusiastic. Annoying somehow, in the way Lev was, but more endearing in a way. Kenma couldn’t keep himself from being charmed.

Maybe because of the size.

It was like being annoyed by a puppy.

“Since you’re already doing me the honor of leading me to my goal, you could give me your name.”

“Oh.” There was something incredibly adorable about the way this officer was enthusiastic about absolutely everything. “How impolite of me! I am officer Hinata Shoyou. I started working here last week. I like the place but my partner was at the same police academy as me, and he is a grumpy grump and makes work a nightmare. Who are you?”

Kenma had to keep himself from chuckling at the other’s antics. He was like the sun, in a way, if the sun was something that would lend it's light into your life just by having a simple conversation with it.

“I’m Kozume Kenma. But you can call me Kenma. I’m here to ask the Detectives to have a look over my best friend's funeral, since they’re investigating his murder.”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry! I was being incredibly inconsiderate, I’m so sorry for your loss.” He bowed deeply to show his respect and sorrow.

“No it’s alright,” Kenma assured, “you didn’t know. And it’s good to have a nice conversation in times like these.”

Officer Hinata beamed with his entire face.

Well… Maybe it was good to have intel into this precinct. Officer Hinata seemed like the kind that made friends easily and overshared police secrets if they made for good gossip. If Kenma got him talking he was sure they would exchange numbers and become fast friends and Kenma would have ties into this place. 

Now to get him talking.

Crap, what did people even talk about when they were basically strangers?

“What, uh,” Kenma started, playing with his hands awkwardly. DAMN it was hard making conversation, “what’s your favourite animal?”

“Oh, cats! I like cats! But I also like crows 'cause I went to Karasuno high school and they called us the ‘fearsome crows’ which was really bad ass and I learned a lot of cool crow facts from my manager then but I forgot most of them because it’s been a while now. What’s your favourite animal?”

Oh, thank god that worked. He had been right about Hinata oversharing and being easy to talk to. Hell, he even genuinely enjoyed this conversation. That was rare outside of conversations with Kuro.

_ But there is no Kuro anymore, is there? _

“Mine is cats as well.”  _ DAMNIT KENMA KEEP THE CONVERSATION RUNNING!  _ “I went to a school called ‘Nekoma high’ so that was basically fate. My friend went to that school as well.”

“Woah!” Officer Hinata said. Kenma swore this was the first time he had seen anime eye sparkles in real life. “That is so cool! And such a cool name too! Oh, we’re here.”

_ No, no, no! Don’t leave yet, I still need to establish a relationship! _

“Wait!” He told Officer Hinata, a little too enthusiastically as the other turned around to go to his own desk. “What’s your favourite movie?”

There was the eye sparkles again. 

“It’s ‘The Little Giant’, it made me want to be a cop!”

Kenma cocked his head in confusion.

“Doesn’t the cop in that movie get bested by the Yakuza?”

Hinata waved him off, “he does BUT,” he clenched his hands into excited fists and looked at Kenma with that same eye sparkle again, “they are  _ fated rivals _ and they have  _ epic showdowns _ and  _ battles of wits _ and that is EXACTLY what I want!”

Kenma couldn’t help himself, he was wholly and incredibly endeared.

“You must like that movie a lot.”

Hinata nodded. “Yea it was the only movie I wanted to watch for about a month when I was a kid. My mom still calls me ‘little giant’ because of it.”

God that guy was adorable.

“Do you still have a copy of it? I haven’t actually gotten around to seeing it,”  _ at least not in a few years, _ “so you could show it to me so I can see what you like about it.”

Hinata took Kenma’s hands in his ownthen, making Kenma flinch at the unfamiliar action, and become uncertain about his plans all of sudden.

“It would be an honour, but I will talk through the  _ entire _ movie.”

Kenma laid his head sideways fondly.

“I’m fine with that.”

“Here wait,” Hinata took out his phone, “let me give you my number so we can make plans.”

Damn, this was working well. He should make police officer friends more often.

“Oi!” A grumpy looking police officer said from the other side of the precinct. “Stop talking to witnesses, dumbass, and come do your damn paperwork!”

“Ah, Grumpy-yama! I’ll be there in a sec!” Hinata turned back to Kenma then. “I’m free Friday night, if you’re free as well. You can text me details or questions. I have to go back to work now, Daichi-san, I mean Sawamura-san and Shimizu-san should be back soon.”

Kenma put his phone away.

“I’m free Friday night,” he said fondly, “I will bring snacks.”

The cop beamed with his entire face.

“See you Friday then, Kenma!”   
  
“See you Friday, Shoyou.”

* * *

Kenma actually had to wait so long for the officers that he dosed at their desks.

He could see what folders were on their desks. Most of the people he knew, his own folder was there as well, but one in particular caught his eye.

_ ‘Azumane Asahi’ _ . 

The name rang a bell, but only vaguely. Was he a fellow instructor at training camp or something? He couldn’t have had a big impact in Kuro’s life if Kenma didn’t remember him. He had half a mind to risk a look inside the file, but he was in the middle of a police precinct, surrounded by police, so he couldn’t really risk that.

“I’m still surprised that you dislike him so much.”   
  
“He rubs me the wrong way. I swear he did it, I just need to prove it. That Azumane is the villain.”

Kenma stood up as his police officers approached the desks he was waiting at.

“Kozume-san?” Detective Sawamura wondered. “What are you doing here?”

Kenma tapped into his nervous energy for a bit before asking,

“I’m organising Kuro’s funeral, and I wanted to ask if you would do me the honor to join the funeral. Just for the ceremony, I just want to pay my respects to your services in making sure my best friend's death finds its rightful justice.”

Both detectives looked at him in awe.

Score!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone had a good chapter title idea hmu

All of Wednesday went by in a moment.

Kenma was busy calling the shrine that the Kuroo family was buried at to reserve a spot for his Kuro. Making invitations and plans and co-ordinations and calling family members and friends to tell them the date of the funeral. Some people, like most of the Sanity staff and Mika, didn’t answer their phones, but he planned to just seek them out in person the next day. The funeral homes he called that were nearby said they wouldn’t be able to cover up a bullet wound in the head well enough to make it look like it never happened, but Kenma knew someone who did, so he called his old friend Yusufumi who agreed to pretend to work at a local funeral home and not the Yakuza.

So when the day was by and done Kenma was keen to just fall into bed and groan himself to sleep.

* * *

Kenma was less than keen to get a call early the next morning but he accepted the call nonetheless.

“Did you hear who they have as they have in for questioning now?”

Well Kenma couldn’t just leave a woman crying like that.

\----

  
  


From having called Shohei about the funeral the day prior he knew that Sanity was running again, even if Yuu wasn’t fit enough to overlook the actions there.

Under any circumstances, it would be a good idea to get Mika out into people, surrounded by those she knew, and some warm drink to cry into.

“I can see why they see it,” she said through her tears, “with— with our history it’s obvious they would look— they would look into him like that. But Suguru didn’t do it. He couldn’t and he wouldn’t; I know it.”

“I know.” Kenma said, standing next to her seat. He didn’t know what else to tell her. He knew who really did it, but he could hardly tell her that. He would also need to throw Daishou under the bus if the necessity arose, so he couldn’t speak out genuine condolences either.

God he didn’t know how to comfort her. It was getting awkward, even if Mika herself didn’t notice, being busy crying in her hands and all.

She really didn’t deserve any of it.

“SMALL LATTE MACCHIATO AND REGULAR BLACK COFFEE, TAKE AWAY!”

Oh thank fucking god.

Kenma approached the bar where he would get his and Mika’s orders from Kenji. He squeezed himself next to a small and hooded figure sitting on a stool by the bar, stuffing his face with a large burger and iced tea.

Wait a minute.

“You’re up and running again,” Kenma said to the hooded figure.

“Kenma,” Yuu answered. He looked terrible, he obviously had been grieving and taking the loss badly, he had been back with society for 20 minutes max. Kenma frowned at him. He didn’t deserve this either.

“How are you holding up?” Yuu asked like the sweet bean that he was.

God, how could Kenma answer that?  _ He _ was the one that had killed him after all. He wasn’t forced, it was his own decision. And his only regret was that it didn’t bear the fruit he had expected it to.

He thought about it though. He still expected to be able to lean over to Kuro to complain to him about something, still expected any and all text notifications to be from him, still habitually had a look out for him.

“I still see him sometimes.” Kenma said in all honesty. “I’m surprised to see you here again so soon,” he added quickly though, so that Yuu wouldn’t ask anymore questions Kenma was unwilling to answer. 

“It’s no good sulking in my room. I have to see how my girl is doing.” Yuu even grinned a little, to his credit. Kenma admired him for that. It’s hard to get Nishinoya Yuu down for good. “Turned out she was doing fine, even without me.”

Kenma nodded, and looked away from Yuu. He had been holding eye contact for long enough, and it was starting to stress him out.

“It must be hard for you too, and you’re here as well.”

_ Damn, fuck! _

“I’m here with Mika,” he pointed at her bawling into her seat, hoping Yuu’s attention would be on her and away from him. “She’s been a mess since Monday, and then she found out who their biggest suspect is for the murder.”

“Wait, who is it?”

“It’s Suguru.”

Acknowledging ‘ _ Ah _ ’s from Yuu and Yuuji.

“Yea, makes sense that that would get to her.” Yuu said.

“And makes sense that they would suspect him most,” Yuuji added, “with their history.”

“Yea, he would make the strongest suspect out of the lot of us.” Kenma mumbled to himself more than to the audience in general. He got interested looks though and cursed himself for not keeping his thoughts private.

“I was at their precinct before and from what I can tell, they have all the usual suspects. Close friends, family, acquaintances. It’s quite early in the investigation, though, so they won’t have too many leads into any direction.”

Stunned silence from his audience.

“And you got that from being at their precinct once?”

Kenma shrugged and turned away.  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, TOO OBVIOUS! _

“I asked for their help with something but they weren’t there yet when I arrived, so I had a look at the folders on their table. All the usual suspects; all of us have our place in the investigation. Suguru was right on top— I think he’s their favourite suspect because of their history. Doesn’t look good for him. There was one name though that I didn’t know: Azumane Asahi.”

_ He _ was Kenma’s favourite suspect, since the detective didn’t seem to like him, and Kenma would much rather throw someone under the bus that he didn’t know.

His audience didn’t seem familiar with the name either.

“I’m  _ sure _ I heard the name somewhere but I can’t pinpoint it. But he was the only name I didn’t know, and when the cops came back they were loudly complaining about how he rubbed them the wrong way.” Well, if he was gonna throw the guy under the detectives’ bus, he may as well already lay seeds of discontent here too.

“You know Kenma,” Yuuji said, fear and awe in his gaze, “the conclusions you get to with minimal information are really scary sometimes.”

A failed excuse died on his lips. DAMN he should be less obvious about being the villain all along. None of them were stupid, least of all Yuuji, he really needed to be less obvious.

“What were you asking their help for anyways? LARGE LATTE MACCHIATO!” Kenji said, basically in one breath, then went back to work without awaiting the answer.

Kenma remembered having quite a tough time getting a hold of most of the Sanity staff. From what he could tell they were either busy over working or grieving in their rooms, so he decided to give them an update.

“I’m taking over matters with the funeral. Kanoka is a mess, which is understandable, and since that woman raised me like one of her own, I’m doing her a favour by burying her son. I went to the police to ask them to supervise the funeral, since I’m still nervous with a murderer on the loose. Keep your dates free—the wake is the day after tomorrow. If you want to say something you are invited to.”

Yuu gaped at Kenma in awe.

“You are incredibly strong, Kenma. He must be like a brother to you and yet to manage to take over the most gruesome responsibility here.”

Kenma shrugged and averted his gaze.  _ It’s the least I can do for him, and for her as well. _

“You’re incredibly strong too, Yuu,” he said quickly to push the attention off himself again, “all of you are. I don’t think I could work here if this is where he died.”

Yuu sat a little straighter, then fire was back in his eyes where it belonged.

“Kenma, can you find out who that Azumane guy is?”

_ NOW you’re talking my language. _ “I can.”

“Great, because I have a plan.” 

Kenma couldn’t keep himself from grinning.

* * *

“Can you tell us if Kuroo Tetsuro was perhaps part of a cult?” Detective Sawamura asked upon calling him back in for questioning.

Kenma had to pull everything in himself together to not burst out laughing.

_ Cult?! _

“Not that I know of.” Kenma answered, trying his darndest to not have his voice die in his throat.

Well, to be fair, ‘killed by a Yakuza associate as a proof of loyalty’ was not anymore out there than ‘cultural sacrifice’.

Detective Sawamura sent a stinky eye to his partner, who sat stock still in Kenma’s view, but must be showing some sort of subtle signs that were more obvious to her long partner than they were to Kenma.

“Alright then, have you ever heard Kuroo mention a ‘Kuro Neko’ or ’Toshinuki Yato’?”

_ Postman-kun?  _ Well Kenma certainly knew one of the most high ranking gang members of the Royal Snakes. He called himself ‘Kuro Neko’ to sound intimidating but it made everyone else think of the postal service so anyone other than himself just called him ‘postman’. Kenma decided early on to call him by his chosen name at least to the face in case he ever needed him as an ally. They were on civil terms and could chat friendly if the opportunity arose but he never got to introduce him to Kuro, even if he thought it would have been a hilarious idea.

“No he never mentioned him before.”

Detective Sawamura flipping through his notes, “your other friend, Bokuto, said that he and Kuroo had met the young man during a gang fight before and that the two of them seemed to be on friendly, even first name basis.”

_ Kuro, what the fuck? _

“He never mentioned any Toshinuki’s or black cats to me.” Kenma answered, shaking his head.

Detective Sawamura nodded and nodded and overall looked very dissatisfied with it all, eventually he looked at Kenma again.

“Thank you, that will be all.” Him and his partner made to get up.

“Wait!” Kenma got their attention, “I have another question.”

The detectives sat back down, looking at him in interest now.

“It’s about one of the names of your suspects, Azumane Asahi—“

“We can’t tell you anymore than absolutely necessary—“ Sawamura interrupted.

“I know, I know, it’s just—“ Kenma avoided eye contact, and played with his hands nervously, “I saw the name on your list before, and it rang a bell, but I wasn’t quite sure ‘cause like—“ Kenma took a deep dramatic breath for performance sake, before looking detective Sawamura straight in the eye saying, “—I remember Kuro complaining about him.”

_ Now _ he truly had their attention. Silent, very tiny gasps escaped the detective. Kenma had to keep himself from grinning.

For good measure he added,

“If I just remembered who he was maybe I could remember what exactly Kuro complained about.”

The detectives exchanged a look, before turning to Kenma again and saying,

“Okay, so here is what we can tell you.”

Kenma pinched his hands to not grin triumphantly.

* * *

Azumane Asahi was nothing like what Kenma had hoped him to be. Maybe his disappointment had made itself obvious, because the very first thing the man said to him was “I’m sorry?” As if he had any real reason to apologise for existing alone.

“You are expected.” Kenma said, handing him a small piece of paper with a time and place to meet on it. Before Azumane could make any sort of comment Kenma turned around and went away.

The man was nervous. He was tall and intimidating in a way, but upon truly looking at him Kenma saw more resemblance to a gentle giant, softness of a teddy bear really. 

Kenma couldn’t quite see why detective Sawamura was so against him, but if it worked in Kenma’s favour he would welcome it obviously.

Upon meeting him though Kenma calculated that he wouldn’t hold up as a valuable suspect for very long. He had just as much of an alibi as everyone else did at three am on a Monday night, and the ‘motive’ wouldn’t hold up for much longer either.

Unless there would be any big changes in the case soon, he would hold no value to Kenma.

* * *

Despite himself, Kenma found himself looking forward to his little movie night with Shoyou.

The officer had spent every day ever since they met sending him random snippets from his life.

Complaints from work or about his co-worker Stinky-yama.

Pictures of him with food or various animals or family members.

Memes and funny things he heard or whatever.

Kenma responded to every single one, despite usually being a bit lazy when it came to responding to people's frequent messages, he liked the ones coming from Shoyou, they made his heart beat a bit more excitedly for some reason.

His heart was certainly being very excitedly now. Standing outside of Officer Hinata’s apartment, a grocery bag full of various snacks, and a lump in his throat somehow.

Kenma had even felt the urge to put on some nice clothes, as if this was some sort of special occasion, and not a casual meet up with a new friend.

Kenma breathed through his impending panic and pushed the door bell.

Then he got nervous and turned around to leave.

Just in that moment though the door opened.

“Kenma, you’re here!” An excited but somehow also calming voice said.

Kenma couldn’t help himself, he had to smile.

“Yea, I am Shoyou.”

  
  


— —

Kenma and Shoyou sat on Shoyou’s couch, one of Shoyou’s cats on his lap, the other by his feet, and another causing some worrying sounding ruckus in the kitchen.

Alongside the two of them, the couch was filled with various sweet or salty snacks, or a mix of both flavours. Most of them had been those made for the orders by Shoyou who had been indecisive so Kenma had brought them all, and every bag was opened and sure to go off and become inedible before they ever got a chance to finish eating them. Kenma didn’t even eat a lot at the best of times.

Overall, Kenma liked the atmosphere, the room was dark, illuminated by the TV only, cats around him, snacks and drinks to disappear into if he got nervous again, and no one there that was disappointed in his performance of sociability.

Shoyou was social enough for the both of them.

The movie started and there were  _ seconds _ in before Shoyou felt the urge to explain why the opening shot was important and the best thing shown on screen ever.

As he explained everything awesome about the opening minutes of ‘The little Giant’ he felt the untameable urge to hold Kenma’s hands, put hands on his arms or shoulders, or mimic stabbing or shooting him to undermine a point.

Kenma wasn’t used to all the touching, was uncomfortable with it usually. And even if he was made nervous and twitchy with the unfamiliar sensation, there was also an underlying excitement to the proximity and touching that Kenma wasn’t used to.

Ten minutes spent at Shoyou’s apartment total, and it was already an adventure and a half.

——

The character of Shiroo gave Kenma cold shivers.

Shoyou barely talked during that section, instead opting to stuff his face with popcorn and indulging in the movie.

Meanwhile Kenma had flashbacks.

The character of Shiroo in the movie was a civilian, one of the very few that wasn’t a victim.

They were the love interest of a special ops agent. They had a long lasting relationship, childhood sweethearts that were established soul mates and relationship goals.

Towards the middle though, right as you were invested in the drama of their crumbling relationship and work life balance, Shiroo decided it would be better for their special ops spouse if they broke up on good terms, so that the other could concentrate on work and would not be held back by private life, so they could work their best.

“Are you alright, Kenma?” Shoyou asked next to him.

Kenma startled back into reality, he hadn’t even known how hard he had stared at the screen.

“No it’s just—“ he coughed to find his voice again, “the Shiroo character reminds me of someone.”

  
  


_ “To your loyalty and dedication.” _

_ “Is that really something you want to toast to?” _

“That’s the sort of thing my friend Kuro would have done.” He clenched his hands into tight fists, trying to not lose his grip on this world. “Sacrifice himself for the sake of others. It was his greatest flaw.”

__

“Kuro is your friend that died, isn’t he?” Shoyou asked in a quiet voice. Kenma nodded, unable to use his own voice. “You feel responsible for his death, don’t you?”

__

Kenma stared at Shoyou.  _ Duh _ , he wanted to say, but he couldn’t really do that, could he?

__

“We all do in a way, don’t we?” He looked at the screen again, fearing that he would offer too much of himself to a near stranger. “How big of a mistake would a character like Shiroo be willing to forgive?”

__

“Hmmm,” Shoyou said, looking at the screen as well, “when it comes to his loved ones, probably anything.”

__

_ Are you sure about that? _

__

——

__

Shoyou was an  **EXPLOSION** of glee and excitement when the movie ended.

__

“Did you see the look he shared with the Yakuza guy? Like woaaaaa! And then when he stared out of the window in the hospital, like ooooohhhh! That’s so cool I want that too!!”

__

Kenma looked at him bemused, he couldn’t help but be endeared.

__

_ You can have that, you can have exactly that if you like. You just need to ask. _ But it’s not like he could just tell him that. Kenma knew not to show his true face to people, least of all to people he knew so little.

__

But who knew, maybe he could establish a fun rivalry/ allyship with Shoyou, and they would have their own exciting battles of wits and clash of morals that were movie worthy.

__

So instead of offering Shoyou to become the little giant himself, he said,

__

“Be careful what you wish for, Shoyou. It may come true.”

__

Shoyou looked at him befuddled.


	4. My Blood, Your Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoever thought publiching all this in one go would be a good idea (me) is an idiot (me)

Kenma hated everything about funerals.

You were expected to pay your attention undevided, you were expected to behave a certain way, and it would probably give a bad image to tell cousin Ass to shut his ugly fucking face because trash talking the dead body you were right next to at the very moment was bad manners.

Well, cousin Ass was actually cousin Asahiko, and Kuro’s cousin, not his own, but considering his personality, their history, and current circumstances Kenma held it for more than appropriate to call him cousin Ass in his head.

“Too bad that no one can look after grandma Kuroo now, isn’t it? What a shame truly. Poor old woman, all alone in that big ol’ house, and no Tetsuro to charm his way around.”

Asahiko and Kuro were cousins on Kuro’s dad’s side, and possible heirs of Granma Kuroo’s presumed to be handsome inheritance. They had made it somewhat of a game to fight over who got to inherit the money in the end, and Grandma Kuroo seemed to also enjoy having two grandkids compete in sweet talking and doing errands for her, at least she would always giggle when the two got into a passive aggressive fight over chores.

Kuro had lived with his grandmother for most of his life, right next to Kenma’s house, and had told him that considering the worth of the house and everything in it and all the things that Grandma Kuroo owned that the inheritance wouldn’t be handsome at all. Aggravating cousin Ass though was a delight in and of itself.

Cousin Ass, on his part, always made it clear that he thought that Kuro had an unfair advantage living with her, whereas cousin Ass was out of sight, out of mind.

So aside from all that history and ulterior reasoning behind the words, saying the woman was all alone now was factually inaccurate, her husband and son still very much lived with her, and she was very close to Kenma’s parents next door. She would be all good and cared for, not even to speak of the fact that she was still quite spry and onto it for her old age.

“He probably got himself hurt at one of those college parties. They’re investigating a murder but really he was at a house party and something went wrong and they tried to cover it up but it didn’t work and now they’re wasting tax payers money on an accident.”

Kenma had a charm in his hand that he was squeezing, and he was so agitated now that the poor teddy was sure about to lose its head.

_ We’re right next to his dead body and you are being far more inappropriate than me and I’m the one that actually killed him. _

“I think it’s time you watched your words a little, cousin Asahiko.”

“I think it’s time you stopped pretending you’re actually part of the family, Kozume.”

Someone entered the room.

It was the detectives Kenma had ordered to the wake. He got up and bowed to them, while they did their appropriate greetings to the corpse and the room in general.

“We are just dropping by like we promised,” Detective Sawamura said, “we will be there for the full funeral tomorrow, but today is not the appropriate time for this.”

Kenma nodded eagerly, the Detectives would help him.

“What are cops doing at Tetsuro’s funeral?” Cousin Ass asked with a sneer.

“We were ordered here by Kozume-san, who seems to be feeling uncomfortable lately.” Detective Sawamura answered. Kenma felt oddly protected by the Detective and his words.

Cousin Ass made a face at him.

“What do you need cops at a funeral for, Kozume, they have no place here.”

“Kuro was shot in the face point blank,” Kenma snapped back, “and unlike you, I don’t think that it was a drunken college party mishap. So the murderer is still free and it could be anyone of us. So excuse me for being a bit nervous with the people around me and wanting to feel a bit of protection.”

_ And covering up the murder I have committed. _

That made cousin Ass shut up. After Grandma Sou had died last year there weren’t many people left in the Kuroo clan that would put the rascal youth in their place. Cousin Ass had been getting whacks to the back of his head for inappropriate behaviour more than anyone else of his cousins, and having the main perpetrator of those whacks out of the picture made him become cocky it seems.

Kenma also considered dropping hints as to why Cousin Ass, who financed his own lifestyle with drug trafficking, would have to feel nervous around police, but he left it for now.

“So, well,” Detective Sawamura continued, coughing into his fist as if to hide his face for a moment, “we just came by to check in with you and say our condolence, as we mentioned, we will see you tomorrow at the funeral, Kozume-san.”

Kenma nodded and bowed. As he did so though he dropped his little charm. Detective Sawamura picked it up and gave it to him.

“That’s adorable.” Sawamura observed, eyeing the charm in his hand, before giving it back.

It was a little, white plush teddy that held a little plush heart that said ‘i buwueve in u’ on it. It made Kenma smile a little, so he took it back and averted his gaze.

“It’s a present from Shoyou. I went to see a movie at his place last night and he said he was proud of me for pulling this together today.”  _ Proud, _ that word with the honesty of the sentiment made odd things happen to his heart. “So he got this for me to cheer me on.”

Detective Sawamura laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I promise you we will find whoever did that and put them in prison.”

_ God I hope not. _ Kenma nodded appreciatively though. 

Just in that moment, someone else came in, doing their appropriate bows and greetings to the corpse and the room in general.

“Yuu!” Kenma said, with perhaps more enthusiasm than appropriate for the setting. 

Yuu finished paying his respects to the corpse and then turned to Kenma and said,

“I heard you were in here, and wanted to check in with you.”

Yuu was good news, he was genuinely a good person who was also genuinely grieving and one of the few people Kenma genuinely enjoyed talking to. Not to speak of the fact that he would not tolerate Cousins Ass’ behaviour and smack him a new one whenever necessary. God Yuu would be a breath of fresh air in this stuffy room. 

“Let me get you some sake,” Kenma said uncharacteristically enthusiastic, looking for the sake and a cup for it, “wait-”

“No thanks,” Yuu said, waving him off, “not after what happened last time...” He held his stomach and made a sick face, looking at the corpse.

Cousin Ass made a smug face at him, and Detective Sawamura made suspicious eyes at Yuu. Damnit, he didn’t actually want Yuu to take the fall for this, he deserved better than this, but if it came down to it…

“Have some tea then,” Kenma said instead, “and come sit with me, I could use some pleasant company.”

Noya nodded, accepting a cup of tea Kenma offered to him and sat right next to where Kenma had sat before, Cousin Ass made stink-eye at him, evidently not missing the subtle jab, and the Detectives and Kenma bowed to each other before separating.

Time to see what to do next.

* * *

“Spend the night.”

Well, uh. 

“I can’t do that.” Kenma told Kanoka.  _ I can’t spend the night in the same room as him. _ “It’s not appropriate.”

Kanoka took his hands in hers, squeezing them lightly, tears still running down her face.

“Please, I beg you. It is more than appropriate, after all that you’ve done for him.”  _ It’s really not Kanoka. Absolutely not. _ “Do it for me, I’d like to say goodbye, properly. But I would like to not be alone.”

Kenma sighed, well he could not deny her a request like that.

“I will spend the night.”

——

Kenma was uncomfortable where he sat, prayer beads in his hands, knees hurting from his sitting and twitching, sweat rolling down his face. 

_ Why do I have to be here? Why do I have to be here? Why do I have to be here? Why do I have to be here?  _ He thought into his folded hands, uncomfortably looking at the lifeless, wrapped up body of his closest friend and ally.

“You know,” Kanoka started, her eyes still closed, hands still folded around her own prayer beads, “I always thought Tetsuro and you would become an item.”

_ What!? _ Completely blind sided, he turned around to her, where she sat right next to him.

“There was this moment when you were young.” She said, opening her eyes then, lowering her hands. “You must have been about ten years old then. It was pouring that day, and I wasn’t expecting anything exciting, when Tetsuro came in the front door, beaten and bruised and with a determined and dark look on his face. Your wrist was in his hand and he had a tight hold on it, you stood behind him looking away, just as beaten and soaked as he was.

He asked me where the first aid kit was, and I directed him to the bathroom.

I don’t know if you know this, but I followed you boys upstairs, and I watched Tetsuro as he ignored his own wounds to tend yours instead.

You told him he was an idiot for interfering in a fight he had no involvement in, and against bigger kids at that. And he said that when kids, no matter how old they were, were beating his best friend, then he would intervene no matter if it was a fight he could win or not.

It’s not like I don’t like Mika, she is a nice girl and she made my Tetsuro happy. It was a picture book romance those two had, but I admit, ever since that day I have been secretly waiting for the two of you to get together.”

She got up then, stretching her legs.

“But that won’t happen now, will it?”

She turned to him.

“I will be going to bed now, Kenma. Thank you for everything you have done, I really appreciate it. Good night.” And with that she was off.

Meanwhile Kenma was more distressed and confused than before.

What the FUCK was that all that about? 

Kenma never saw himself seeking out a romantic relationship, least of all with Kuro of all people, and Kuro was always interested in others, so he was always certain that Kuro didn’t have any romantic interest in him either.

But now.

Now!

This woman just dropped  _ that _ bomb shell in him and was just supposed to deal with it? Right here, right then. In this room with his best friend’s corpse. Her son. The person he was supposed to marry according to that woman.

That he, himself, killed.

Kenma’s breathing got ragged, suddenly the room felt airless, his knees weak from where he sat on them, sweat was running down his body in waterfalls, leaving him with waves of cold shivers.

_ What the fuck was all that about? _

Suddenly Kenma didn’t feel that alone in the room anymore. The tiny space seemed to hold many more presences thant just himself and the sleeping, grieving mother. It seemed to become dark around him and he could smell coffee and Bailey’s.

_ “Good luck with your goals.” _

Kuro’s voice, his last words to Kenma, rang through the room, and through Kenma’s impending panic.

If, while seeing Kenma from his worst side, he showed no animosity towards his best friend, then now, when he was but a mere dead body, he would likely hold no life exceeding grudges either.

The room felt bigger, the air was easier to breathe, Kenma’s mind and heart settled, and his body temperature evened out.

It truly was a shame that he had lost Kuro, had to sacrifice him for his own goals, and yet was not a step closer to them. Kuro deserved to live, had good reason to, and Kenma preferred for him to do it.

But there was no point back button, no rewind, no undo action, just the future. And if the future was already lacking a Kuro, then Kenma might as well make sure the death was not in vain, and that Kuro’s loved ones would be cared for if need be.

Kenma took the prayer beads into a tight hold again, closed his eyes, and prayed for Kuro’s soul to be settled and find peace. 

Kenma slept soundly that night.  
  


* * *

Kenma liked his little spot, a bit away from the events of the farewells, visitors of the small get together leaving flowers in Kuro’s casket, and the police right next to Kenma, taking notes on what he said.

Granny Kuroo and her husband laid a bouquet of flowers into Kuro’s casket. Granny putting her hands on top of the folded ones of her grandson, and grandpa putting his on her shoulder.

“Oh what a shame it is,” she said to her husband, but loud enough in the quiet room that Kenma could hear where he stood, “that such a spry young life is taken from us, and the rest of us get the gift of living on.”

Kenma agreed on the matter. It was far before his time, and if he was put before the same decision again, he would not repeat it.

He had been sure of his choices then, his goals before anything else, even long lasting relationships, but slowly he began to see the real value in having friends like Kuro, they were rare gems ought to be cherished.

Cousin Ass, a bit off from it all, clicked his tongue loud enough for the sound to carry over to Kenma. Detective Sawamura, next to him, seemed to have heard the sound as well.

Kenma still had to decide if he would tell them about Asahiko’s secondary income, but for now he could do this.

“You must know,” Kenma said, leaning closer to the Detective, who also leaned in upon realising that Kenma was talking to him in secret, “Asahiko and Kuro were rumoured to inherit Grandma Kuroo’s money upon her passing. Asahiko always said that Kuro had the upper hand because he spent all his life living with her, and he kept mentioning grandma Kuroo and the inheritance at the wake yesterday.” Kenma looked away sheepishly. “That’s why I went off at him yesterday. If he is going to be celebrating he could at least wait until after the funeral for that, so that the rest of us could grieve properly.”

Detective Sawamura nodded understandingly. From reading his face, Kenma made the assumption that the Detective didn’t like Cousin Ass either, and was eager to get him imprisoned as well.

_ Score _ ! That way he could make Asahiko shut up and no one he liked had to take the fall for him.

The sound of a vibrating phone reached Kenma’s ears. Detective Shimizu took her phone out of her pocket, “Iwaizumi,” she said upon looking at the screen, and then answered the call upon leaving the room for a bit of privacy.

Kanoka and Daisuke approached the coffin then. Kenma hadn’t seen them that close since their divorce. The reason Kuro has moved in next door to Kenma was because the divorce had been quite messy, though Kuro stayed very close to his mother, despite it all. From what Kenma could tell as an outsider, Kuroo Daisuke strongly encouraged his only son to keep up a healthy relationship with his mother, and Daisuke and Kanoka were quite civil to one another, despite what must have gone down.

Kenma never got any details on it, but he also hardly believed that the Kuroo clan family secrets were of any significance here, so he didn’t bring it up.

“After Kanoka and Daisuke got divorced,” Kenma filled the Detective in, who listened attentively, “Kanoka lived alone, and Kuro and Daisuke moved to Daisuke’s parents, next door to me. Kuro was always quite close to his mother though, and even spent a few months living with her after he graduated.”

Detective Sawamura nodded at that as well, taking some notes on his notepad.

Daisuke went over to his parents, who silently started to cry again, meanwhile Kanoka went over to Kenma and the Detective.

“Thank you, “ Kanoka said, as if he was deserving of any sort of praise like that, “I know I have said it a lot, but thank you so much for everything you have done for us and for him.” She released his hands much to his relief, and turned around to her son, stepping in next to Kenma.

“I can’t believe you pulled all that together. It is beautiful. Better and more that I would have even hoped for. It must have been expensive.”

“It wasn’t too bad,” Kenma tried to assure her, before anyone could dig into his finances, “I have contacts in the funeral home,” he pointed at where Yusufumi was pretending to be an employee a bit away from them, “and I can’t have anything less than the best for my best friend.”

Kanoka nodded a lot, she was smiling even.

“I had already given up on having him in the family tomb, it’s so expensive to get a spot like that these days, and no one ever leaves the big city anymore to visit the deceased anymore.”

_ I promise I will visit Kuro’s grave regularly and tend to it, but only if you stop mentioning my finances, because then I won’t get to do that. _

“He should be with his family.” Kenma said instead.

Detective Shimizu came back in then.

“Iwaizumi from the day shift,” she said as a form of explanation. “He dug into that cousin,”  _ yes! _ “And he was in a night club with a life feed of him dancing drunkenly at the time of the murder, he was not seen town until three days later.” The Detective sighed. “Iwaizumi said he drinks espresso exclusively, and that he had no idea what the whole Bayley’s in coffee issue was about.”

Kenma got a lot of info on what they were looking for in the perpetrator, even if he was given the sure fire answer that Cousin Ass wouldn’t go to prison any time soon.

Eh, he could still throw him under the bus for drug trafficking if it came to it.

It was good that he had confiscated his own coffee cup from that night though. Even if they seemed to have enough clues to know that the person that had taken it was not an espresso drinker.

Huh.

Detective Sawamura seemed displeased by the news as well. “Thank you, Shimizu.” He said, then turning back to the casket.

Koutarou was there, leaving a big bouquet of flowers right next to Kuro’s face, crying his face off all the while. Keiji was right behind him again, one arm wrapped around his boyfriend, a handful of flowers in the other, which he also laid in the casket.

“Could either of them have done it?” Detective Sawamura asked.

Kenma looked at the two of them, whom he had a close relationship to since high school, and who he truly valued as people. Evaluating who he was willing to sacrifice next for his own means.

“No. No, neither of them could have done it. They were too close to Kuro, they wouldn’t have been able to kill him.”

_ Yet I was even closer and killed him nonetheless. _

Sawamura nodded and took more notes.

Yuu was next, laying a handful of flowers by Kuro’s shoulders, silently talking to him through tears.

From the corner of his eye Kenma could see Sawamura make suspicious eyes at him, it seemed Yuu had done something suspicious enough that Sawamura was seeing him as a serious suspect.

Well dammit, he didn’t want Yuu to go through that, but if it worked in his favour…

Kenma sighed.

“I don’t know about Yuu. I have known him since high school, and I like him a lot for being such a loud and enthusiastic guy, but I barely ever see him. Most I know about him is from hear say of Kuro’s stories.”

Well it wasn’t necessarily bad for Yuu but he didn’t play him good cards either. He gave some random pieces of information and let them move on.

Kenji stepped up behind Yuu then, trying to steer him away since others had yet to take their turn. Yuu eventually nodded and left. 

Kenji stayed for a moment longer though, he produced a ukulele from the inside of his jacket, looked at it for a moment, then put it on Kuro’s chest.

“I’m sorry I never gave it back to you.” He said quietly, though not as quiet as the others. “I never even played it, I never quite got into it as much as you did. And when I saw you play, I got jealous and didn’t know how to deal with it, so I kept it. Until now. But that won’t do either of us any good now, will it?”

He bowed slightly, and was about to turn away when something caught his eye. He approached the casket again, and slightly leaned over the dead body.

“Isn’t there supposed to be a bullet wound in—“ He said, mere moments away from touching the face.

“No!” Kenma said, interrupting a bit too enthusiastically. For a solid moment there, all his alarm bells went off inside his head, and he was briefly very certain that Kenji had killed Kuro.

Before he remembered who actually did it.

In a normal voice though he explained, “it’s just make up. The wound is still there, you just can’t see it.”

He then leaned over to the curious Detectives and said, “the reason I chose this funeral home specifically was so I could make use of my family friend Yusufumi,” he pointed over at Yusufumi doing stellar work pretending to be an employee, “who has experience as an FX make-up artist for movies, so he can make Kuro look decent again, even if his face has taken quite the damage. I didn’t want his mother to see any of that.”

The Detectives nodded.

One last goodbye.

Mika latched herself out of Suguru’s arms, he seemed to struggle letting her go, but she went over to Kuro nonetheless.

She leaned over the casket, and talked in a quiet voice that didn’t carry over to Kenma. She gently caressed his cheek as she talked, and Kenma saw tear drops falling onto his body.

Conclusively, she kissed his folded hands, then stepped back into Suguru’s waiting arms.

Kenma looked around, then he shared a look with Kanoka. 

“If that is all, we will be burning the body now, you may leave if you like.”

The Detective turned to him.

“Aren’t you going to say goodbye to the body?”

_ Welp no, Kanoka already forced me through that process. _ He shook his head.

“I already said goodbye to him last night, so today is everybody else’s turn.”

The Detective seemed genuinely impressed by him. Kenma would hold him a fool for it if it didn’t work in his favour so much.

Kenma gestured at Yusufumi, who, with his prevalent smile and silent movements, closed the face window of the casket, and pushed the whole thing into the oven.

_ Now, we wait. _

* * *

This woman was going to be the death of him one of these days.

“I can’t do it, Kanoka, it’s not appropriate.”  _ I don’t think I’m strong enough. _

Kanoka laid a hand on his shoulder.

“If it’s really that tough for you, I won’t force you to do it. You have already done so much for us, and for him.”

There was no way around it. If Kuroo’s parents had to go through this, then so would he. He sucked it up and without further complaining said, 

“I’ll do it.”

They walked past the metal table, it was still warm, somewhat, and they each got chopsticks, and Yusufumi told them where to start, and what was of significance.

_ Kuroo’s bones. _

_ Nothing left of him but ash and bones. _

_ His very much, very mortal body is before me and exclusively because I was too proud to properly value him as a friend. _

Kanoka started picking up the toes.

Kenma was shaking with nerves.

Anxiety.

Consequences.

Kuroo’s bones felt heavy in his hands, hard to pick up with chopsticks which he has used all his life.

Ankles.

Calfs.

Knees.

Hips.

Spine.

Rips.

Fingers.

Forearms.

Upper-arms

Shoulder.

Collarbone.

Neck.

And then Kenma made eye contact with the bullet hole he had left in Kuroo’s skull.

And he couldn’t do it anymore.

He tried to say something, say he can’t or he shouldn’t or maybe collapse or confess it all. Something, SOMETHING!

“Hey,” Kanoka, said, making eye contact with him and laying her hand on his shoulder again, “there is nothing you have to do, you are not forced to do anything. Take a break if you need to. We are almost done anyways.”

Kenma looked at her for a long moment. It took him a while to come back to the real world. Eventually he nodded though. Being aware of our own limits was also important.

He watched as Daisuke collected the skull of his son with his own chopsticks, and Kuro’s body was officially picked up.

They put his remains in an urn, and Kanoka took them outside as the entered the actual scene of the funeral.

* * *

Kenma felt like death incarnate.

“What happened to you?” Detective Sawamura asked him outside.

Kanoka walked past them, holding the urn in her hands, nodding at the Detective, and seeming more lively than she had been before.

Yuu stepped up behind the Detectives.

“Is all the attention and the crowd getting to you?”

Kenma stretched. He could feel the tension in his joints and his bones.

“Sorting your best friend’s bones does a number on you.” Kenma said. “But you are right, when all this is over I could sleep for a week.” He cracked his neck satisfyingly. “Let’s talk about something else, I need a distraction.”

They turned around, and walked right into what must be some sort of story time group.

“When I was a first year in high school, I had just started volleyball. So I was still really bad at it and I didn’t take to it as easily as some of the other guys did. And my teammates told me that I was lucky that I was so tall, because I didn’t have the talent or the brains for it, so at least I had that.

I get told that a lot so I wasn’t offended. That’s just what everybody else tells me.

I told Kuroo Sensei about it, and he took the afternoon off to teach me about second grade chemistry. He taught it really well and it was the first time ever that I felt smart.”

Awed gasps from the crowd of children listening attentively.

“Those,” Kenma said, leaning over to the Detectives, “are Kuro’s students and cousins. That boy that just shared that heart warming story is Inuka Sou, a high school second year at the school that Kuro and I used to go to. Kuroo took him under his wing at training camp and evidently left an impact. His audience are Kuro’s cousins. Kuroo Hisashi, Ayumi, and Ai, and Sou Haruhi and Takenaka.”

The Detective nodded and turned back to the story time scene.

“One time, I was on a tube home, and some stranger talked to me and kept asking me for my name and address and very personal questions and wouldn’t leave me alone. Out of nowhere, Kuroo Sensei leaned over me and asked the stranger the same questions until he left.”

More awed gasps from the crowd of children.

Kenma leaned over to the cops again.

“That’s Shibayama Yuuki. He’s in the same grade and in the same school as Sou. They have a similar relationship to Kuro as you can see.”

“One time I told Cousin Tetsu that I was bullied in school, and he told me that bullies really don’t like it when you yell at them and bite them. Now when I get mean boys talking to me I tell them to back off and if they get too close I bite them. That makes them shut up.”

Nodding and agreeing from around the seven year old Haruhi.

The Detectives shared a look. Kenma couldn’t quite interpret it, but he was certain it was working in his favour.

“One time I tripped over my own open shoe laces and fell flat on my face, and Kuroo Sensei laughed at me so hard he farted. Drinks?”

Kenma accepted the offered drink and Yuu took one as well. The cops seemed kinda dumb struck.

“This is Lev. He has a similar story to those other students, same grade and school and all. He took a liking to me more than Kuro though, for whatever reason. I don’t even really attend the training camps anymore, I just drop by to annoy Kuro every now and again.”

“Kozume-san is very smart!” Lev said gleefully. “He doesn’t visit often but he always teaches me very clever and interesting things.”

“We actually also know each other through extended family, which is the real reason he likes me I think. But most importantly he has been a big help these last few days, I don’t think I couldn’t have pulled any of this together without his help.”

The Detective’s nodded silently, apparently still a bit awe struck or dumb struck by Lev. Good. He was an unaccountable force to be reckoned with. Kenma should honestly use him for startling and distracting factor more often.

“Cousin Kenma,” came it from behind Kenma’s elbow. Her turned around to see the five year old Kuroo Ai make big eyes at him. “Is it hard to live without your boyfriend now?”

_ Wait what? _

“What boyfriend?”

She made big eyes at him, blinking in her incredibly cute, small girl adorable way.

“Well you and Cousin Tetsu have been dating for so long, and now he’s gone. Is that hard for you?”

He squinted at the girl.

Someone was hiding a snort pretty terribly. Yuu probably.

“Kuro and I weren’t dating.”

“You weren’t?” She asked with her big doe eyes.

Someone else hid a laugh pretty terribly. A female voice.

“Are you sure about that, Kenma?”

“Oh come on, Mika. You of all people can’t betray me like this.”

Mika, smiling for the first time in a week, stepped out of Suguru’s protective hold and said,

“Well I admit that throughout all of high school I thought you guys were an item. So I was really blind sided when he asked me out, and I asked him if something happened between you two.”

Kenma squinted at her disapprovingly.

Suguru stepped up to her again, leaning an arm on her shoulder, and seemingly using most of his weight on it, making her stand tilted.

“That explains why he wouldn't react to it when I would tease him about it during matches.”

Kenma squinted even harder then. Wait, he could remember some of those comments.  _ ‘With a quota like this I hope you at least get to score at home’ _ , and then Suguru would look at him as if Kenma had anything to do with Kuro ‘scoring at home’. He didn’t get it then, but considering the new context…

Gross.

He turned to his last hope of true allyship.

“Don’t set your hopes on me,” Yuu said, raising his arms defensively, “I thought you guys were an item until I moved in with Tetsuro.”

_ Really? What sort of joke. _ “First his mom last night, and now this.” Kenma grumbled under his breath. 

“I always knew you were never dating Kuroo Sensei.” Lev said, as if he would get brownie points for it or something.

Kenma scoffed and turned away. Kuro was the last person he would ever consider dating, even if he had some sort of interest in dating.

_ But then who is the first? _

Someone who respected him, listened to him. Could see his smarts. Well most of those also applied to Kuro. Hmmm, so maybe look for some non-Kuro qualities.

Someone who felt like sunshine, who seemed innocent and positive. Someone who mindlessly encouraged you even if it was probably a bad idea.

Kenma couldn’t put a face to that idea though.

“We will be putting him in the tomb now.” Kanoka said. Seeming more lively even than yesterday. “Have him be with his ancestors.”

“Nooo!!!” The child cousins yelled at Kanoka, startling her with their reactions.

“He can’t go into the ground!”

“He needs to save people!”

“Cousin Tetsu needs to teach us things!”

“You can’t put Cousin Tetsu in the ground, he has so much to do!”

The kids were wailing, utterly distressed with it all.

Haruhi pulled on Kanoka’s dress, Ai his her legs in protest, Takenaka dropped to the floor, letting the tears and wails run freely.

Kenma was shaken by it, honestly shaken by it. He was glad Kanoka held the urn. Kenma would have broken by now, told the kids everything, apologised for making a terrible mistake. For taking this from them. From him.

Kanoka leaned down to them, five times the strength Kenma would ever be able to show.

“Tetsuro will be with his ancestors, teaching  _ them _ things and looking out for  _ them _ now.”

The kids calmed down and nodded, and even Kenma was a bit moved by the speech.

“But why can’t Cousin Tetsu teach  _ us _ things?” Sou Ayumi asked.

“Because his time here is up,” Kanoka said, being the most amazing woman Kenma had ever met. “He did his job here, now he does his job with the rest of the family in the after life.”

The kids nodded collectively now, some of them still crying a little, confused by it all.

Kenma made sure to always send Kanoka nice Mother's day presents. She deserved them.

Watching and listening to Kanoka, dealing with it all these last few days, made him realise he shouldn’t wait for his luck. Luck is not found, but made. Taken by the hair and dragged into your life.

As the sun set behind the Kuroo tomb, and they buried Kuro’s urn, Kenma felt a satisfied presence behind him.

“I’ll do my best, Kuro.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am oen to chapter title ideas

Monday felt less like a day, and more like a blur.

By Tuesday he was _just_ conscious enough to realise that he was having a stress induced fever, and was working through that fever’s comatose.

By Wednesday he was onto it enough to realise that he was suffering.

And not used to dealing with it alone. 

Kenma knew that organising the funeral had been too much. It was stressful, the organisation, the social interaction, the two faced life had been too much for him. He had worked himself into a fever.

Yet again he had worked too hard for a friend.

Yet again for Kuro.

Kuro would have checked in on him. Tell him to drink tea and take a shower.

But there was no Kuroo anymore. Only Kenma.

So Kenma got out of bed, drank approximately a lifetime worth of water and ate some bread.

Well that had to work for now.

Then there was silence.

Silence and nothing and boredom. But Kenma’s brain slowly came back online.

He sent a text to Lev.

Lev agreed to bring him nutritional supplies and medicine.

Kenma wrapped himself in a blanket and watched TV.

He got bored though because he couldn’t concentrate and answered 57 unanswered texts from Shoyou.

He was in the middle of an in-depth discussion with Shoyou about the flexibility of cats, when someone rang his doorbell.

“One apple pie and one black tea and the best fever medicine the pharmacist was willing to give me.” Lev said with a big smile.

Kenma thanked and bid him inside.

“My lunch break is almost over,” Lev said instead, “Watanabe-Sensei wants to prepare us for the test tomorrow and I really need to be there for that because I think I don’t understand any of that. But it was good to see you’re up again and all fit and healthy!”

Well Kenma had kinda hoped for some company, especially since Lev was good at filling dreadful silences, and didn’t need much additional entertainment.

He certainly didn’t feel very fit and healthy, but he thanked Lev for the visit anyways, and wished him good luck on his school work.

“Text me if you need anything. If I managed to pass the first year of high school with constant fevers the first time, I can do it again.”

“Thanks Kenma-san, but my mom can help me she is really good at maths. Goodbye!” And with that Lev was gone.

And Kenma was alone again.

Just him and his take away tea and his piping hot apple pie.

At least it was from Sanity; Yuu made the best pies.

Kenma wrapped himself tighter into his blanket, and devoured his food in front of the tv. At least he could concentrate better this time round. Early noon on a weekday was a terrible time to watch tv as he found out. There was nothing interesting on. But Kenma also wasn’t invested enough to make a big fuss about that. 

Shoyou asked over text if he had eaten a real meal lately. Kenma denied that. Shoyou asked if he was planning to make one today, Kenma denied that too.

No more texts from Shoyou, his lunch break must be over too.

Kenma got himself surprisingly invested in a reality show that was just engaging enough for his fever riddled brain, when here was another ring on the doorbell.

And then three more and some obnoxious knocking.

Kenma opened the door, not sure what to expect.

It was Shoyou, with a big, warming smile, a teddy bear, and some sort of grocery bag.

Without any sort of invite Shoyou just marched in, and while taking his shoes off said, “The fever is from overworking, right? I’m an expert at curing those fevers, leave it to me.” He then turned around to Kenma and beamed at him so brightly that Kenma felt the need to put on sunglasses.

“Go take a shower and push on some fresh clothes, the rest you can leave to me!” 

Shoyou flashed him a thumbs up and a big smile.

Without really having any sort of orientation, Kenma found himself in his bathroom, water running, left alone completely.

He heard humming outside. Shoyou had an adorable singing voice, and Kenma wasn’t quite onto it enough to understand any of what was happening.

And he still kind of thought Shoyou was a fever dream and he was actually lying in bed.

Kenma took his clothes off and stepped under the shower.

It was nice, actually. The hot water was doing wonders for his mental health, which in consequence also made him feel more physically healthy. 

After about 20 minutes he left the shower. To his surprise a new outfit had been laid out for him, next to two towels to dry himself with. His old, gross, sweated-through clothes that he had worn since Sunday night had mysteriously vanished. Kenma suddenly felt self-conscious about his presentation.

Kenma cleaned his teeth and combed his hair, and for good measure he even cut his nails and put on deodorant. He almost felt human again.

He left the bathroom and smelled something he hadn’t smelled in what felt like half a year:

Fresh air.

As he walked through his apartment he saw open curtains and windows, and a slight breeze weaved through his slightly damp hair.

The sheets of his bed were changed, and Kenma felt even more uncomfortable with how gross he and his things had been before.

There was a new smell now.

Fried onions, diced vegetables, definitely lots of garlic.

Soup.

Kenma followed that smell into the kitchen, where Shoyou was wearing an apron Kenma hadn’t been aware he still owned, and hummed some sort of anime opening theme as he stirred some sort of food in a pot. 

Kenma sat himself at his kitchen counter and watched Shoyou at work.

“I saw your fever medicine while you were in the shower,” Shoyou said, smiling, “it’s on the counter next to you, and a spoon too.”

Kenma nodded, despite Shoyou not even looking at him.

Kenma picked up the packet that Lev had brought him before.

“My sister did wrestling in high school,” Shoyou said, still concentrating on the food more than on Kenma, “she was really into it, but she would often over do it and get a fever from overworking. So I got a lot of practice with over working fevers.” He threw Kenma a smile and a thumbs up again, then went back to work. “I got them quite frequently as well back in the day, especially during nationals. Our mom would help me then. I think we all tend to over do it a lot.”

The food seemed to be done, because Shoyou filled the soup into two bowls, and joined Kenma at the kitchen counter.

Kenma ate a spoonful, and felt immediately like he was filled with warmth and love.

It was some good fucking vegetable soup.

“I overworked a lot in middle school and high school,” Kenma shared, “my team was a lot better than me so I worked hard to catch up with them. I had a friend that looked after me then, he felt guilty for pressuring me to go harder, but I think a lot of our relationship was based on us annoying each other into better performances.”

Shoyou looked at him pensively, bowl of soup already empty.

“You must be good friends.” Shoyou said quietly. 

“Were.” Kenma corrected.

“Do you have any regrets?” Shoyou continued in quiet awe.

Kenma thought for a long moment.

“Just one.” Kenma answered.

A tense silence laid over them. Kenma had really hoped for that to not happen, since Shoyou seemed as easily entertained and effortless to talk to as Lev.

Kenma cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Do you have any pictures of your sister?”

Shoyou beamed again and pulled out his phone.

“This is her. Here she is at regionals and getting awards. And here she is at nationals kicking ass. And this is her with our mom’s cat. It took five years but they eventually learned to get along.”

Kenma giggled at that last picture, as well as the following one of Shoyou and his sister holding up hand crafted name signs with their names on them as well as lots of knick-knacks like glitter and paper stars. They both had a lot more of that on their faces than on their signs. ‘Natsu’ seemed to have the same sort of sunny and warm personality that Shoyou had.

“The resemblance is uncanny.” Kenma said, before emptying the last of his bowl.

Shoyou put the phone away again.

“She just graduated high school. I’m so proud of her, she has such a bright future.”

Kenma watched Shoyou as he talked about his sister. The gentle smile and the soft voice filled Kenma with a sort of warmth around his heart that he wasn’t used to. The unfamiliar warmth from his heart rose to his cheeks.

The tender moment burst when Shoyou shot up from his seat, startling Kenma as he shot back into the kitchen and said, “I made you a smoothie as well. You need vitamins now. Lots of them. There is a 70% Shoyou chance of you being at perfect health tomorrow!”

Kenma raised a bemused eyebrow at Shoyou’s “70%” guarantee, but could not help but be charmed enough to smile softly.

The smoothie stung in his nose and harassed his eyes.

“It doesn’t _taste_ the best but I guarantee it WORKS!” Shoyou looked at his phone and jumped a little. “It’s high time to feed my cats!” 

Before Kenma could form any sort of response Shoyou was on his feet again, and before Kenma had time to process _that_ , Shoyou also had his coat on.

All packet up, shoes on, ready to go, Shoyou stood in the door and turned around one last time to say goodbye.

“See ya Kenma, tell me when you feel better.”

Kenma grabbed a quick hold on Shoyou’s sleeve before he left, he couldn’t quite decide what to say, his heart was beating with urgency and many other unidentifiable things, and to express all that he pulled Shoyou back by his arms and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you,” Kenma spewed out quickly, before feeling like he had greatly overshot it and pushing Shoyou out to close the door on him. 

Well _NOW_ his heart was _certainly_ beating fast, and his face felt really hot.

He went to the kitchen to inhale one more bowl of soup, do the dishes and calm down, and when he was done and vaguely settled he got a text from Shoyou.

It was the picture of a truly adorable calico kitten with the caption ‘that you?’

Well talk about confusing feelings and having to calm down again.

Kenma decided that it was high time to put on a coat and go on a stroll.

Nothing big, maybe he would just drop by Sanity.

\---------

Kenma honestly felt bad dropping by so late, after all, the place was about to close.

When he opened the door though the place still seemed to have high life and not at all bothered by having one more customer. In fact, he seemed quite welcomed.

“Kenma!” The staff of Sanity yelled into every corner of the store. Kenma made a show of turning around and closing the door behind him.

“Noo! Don’t leave! I’m sorry!” Bemused by his friends’ effort, Kenma went back into the warmth of the store.

It _was_ quite cold outside after all.

“Heya.” Kenma said, before seeing a vaguely familiar presence at the counter. “Azumane-san?”  
  
“Kozume-san.” Answered Kuro’s former work colleague and rival.

“Just Kenma is fine,” Kenma mumbled, suddenly feeling more uncomfortable than he had intended. At least he hadn’t made an effort to intimidate Azumane when he went to his place to call him to Sanity. Which begs the question of what he was still doing here—abnormally late and a week later.

“How are you feeling?” Yuu asked him. The way he was leaning over his own counter into Azumane’s personal space, the very position he had been in since Kenma had entered the store, was valuable information Kenma filed away in the back of his brain.

Kenma shrugged.

“More alive than I had been all week. In all honesty—” he hadn’t intended for the following words to come out as reluctantly as they did. He only noticed their impact when he was about to speak them. “—It’s hard without Kuro.” He swallowed thickly.

Yuu leaned over the counter to take his hand. “I understand,” he said, in that flesh burning honesty of his.

Kenma felt the underlying urge to pull his hand away, feeling undeserving of the honest affection of his friends, when he was the one that had caused them suffering.

To them and to himself.

But more than anything he wanted to be among people again. He hadn’t known how much he had craved human touch until he felt it again.

He looked up with more glee.

“Shoyou dropped by though. He made me food and forced me to shower and—” the _kiss_ he had given Shoyou was at the very forefront of his mind right then, stopping him from finishing his story.

“And?” Yuu urged teasingly, evidently reading the embarrassing subtext in the unsaid. Yuu never got credit in matters of intelligence, but when it came to people he was an ace. Kenma was very displeased with that just then.

“You only get your Chai when you tell us what ‘ _and_ ’ is.” Yuuji threatened, holding a cup of frankly _delightfully_ smelling tea under his nose before taking it back again.

“What’s ‘ _and_ ’?” Shohei questioned, standing uncomfortably close behind Kenma, the broom in his hand not swiping anymore.

Kenma looked for a way out, heat in his cheeks rising steadily.

There was no escape.

“AndIkissedhim.” He mumbled quickly.

“What?!” Yuuji and Yuu said with equal unnecessary amount of glee.

“It was just a kiss on the cheek,” Kenma assured. “He was so nice to me and went out of his way to go to my place and he cleaned my place and did my laundry and he didn’t give me a chance to say ‘thank you’ and then he was about to leave again and it was all very sudden and I couldn’t quite put into words how grateful I was for him so I pulled him back and kissed him on the cheek and kicked him out again.”

_God, breathe Kenma. What’s up with you_ ?   
  
Yuuji and Yuu seemed to like the story, squeeling like pre-teen girls at a sleepover, being excited about their first love encounter.

Strong arms wrapped themselves around Kenma from behind.

“We’re happy you found someone that makes things better.” Shohei said.

Kenma pulled his shoulders up, trying to hide within himself.

For a moment he thought being hugged without warning would make him more uncomfortable with the situation, but something about Shohei’s familiar arms around him made him feel more at peace with it all.

He really had great friends.

He should have valued them more.

“Well it’s about time for me to go.” Azumane declared, getting up.

“No—” Yuu urged, then startled himself with his own response and caught up with his reaction. “I ah—It was nice having you here, you can come again tomorrow.” Yuu’s very out of character awkwardness and Azumane’s obvious discomfort of it all were greatly entertaining. All of which only underlined by Yuuji throwing a wink at Azumane from where he was leaning on the counter next to the cash register. 

“Well I’ll be seeing you tomorrow but I need to get home,” he urged, speeding away.

When he passed them Kenma made sure to address him as “Azumane-san.” and nod at him to show his goodbye.

Azuma halted and responded with, “Kozu—I mean Ken—Kenma-san— just Asahi is okay.” Then he sped out of the door, not even noticing how Kenma and Shohei giggled at him.

When Azumane was gone Yuu visibly deflated, and sighed like holden maid in a period drama, while spreading his entire body over his counter.

Kenma then wound himself out of Shohei’s embrace and took the seat Azumane had occupied until then. The Chai he had been promised was placed in front of him by Yuuji. Kenma thanked him.

“So you and Azumane?” Kenma begun.

Yuu just looked a bit lost for words, but Yuuji leaned all his weight on Yuu and said, “We’re all fighting for Asahi-chan’s attention. So far Noya and I are winning, since he came back today when Kenji wasn’t here. Shoehi just wants to make him nervous.”  
  
“It’s very easy,” Shohei said, from where he had continued swiping the floor. Shohei had always been more of a prankster than people gave him credit for. Mostly because people in general had a hard time reading him, and were consequently unaware that half of his weirdness was just him pulling a prank.

The rest was all Shohei being his natural self.

“So the one of us that wins,” Yuuji continued, “will be the princess that our trusty knight in shining armour will take to the ball.” Yuuji made a grand and theaterous gesture at that.

Yuu wound himself out of the grasp Yuuji had on him.

“What—no, I—” Yuu tried to say, but the prominent blush on his face and his lack of coherency spoke badly for him.

Kenma took his hand.

“I’m just glad you found someone that makes it all easier for you.” He said with all the fake support he could muster.

Yuu pulled his hand away, still blushing severely.

“Oh screw you, I’m never being nice to you again.”

Kenma laughed with Yuuji at Yuu’s expense.

He really had the best friends in the world.  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time i ahve the smart fucking idea to post a multi-chapter fic jsut shoot me in the fucking head

It was ass o’clock in the fucking morning and Kenma was NOT keen to be called to the police this early.

He didn’t even know what it was for, if they had dirt on him or just general questions, because it must have been quarter of an hour already and so far detective Sawamura had just sat in front of him somewhat awkwardly and uncertain and no one had told him anything, which didn’t necessarily help his mood in general.

Then the door burst open with a bang colliding off the wall again, and detective Shimizu came in looking like a feral animal right before an attack, or maybe right after. She seemed out of it and disoriented and her general get up was more of a mess than Kenma was used to, but all of that and the massive pile of files in her arms didn’t look very promising to him.

After a moment of recollection she strutted over to the table Sawamura and he sat at and just BANGED the files onto it.

“Kozume Kenma you are associated with the Yakuza!”

Well fuck. Kenma dropped cold sweat and it took everything in him to not react to that.

He looks through the files. They had a lot of dirt on him.

“Your mother, your father, your entire family tree is Yakuza, and see,” she picked out one of the files and held it under his nose, making it somewhat hard to see, “even your little funeral person, ‘Nekomata Fukuyumu’ is Yakuza, I have not personally arrested him but had you given me his last name I would have recognised it. And I think you are hiding more than just your History, I think you are hiding certain crimes—”

Kenma stands up in a spurt, pushing his chair over with a loud crash, he couldn’t let them draw any more conclusions, let alone so accurate ones.

“I barely talk to this side of the family BECAUSE they are Yakuza. We do not talk to each other because we don't get along, and I DO NOT appreciate being put into the same pot as them!” He could feel how riled up he got, the nerves were really getting to him, he was a master at subtle manipulation more than at making a scene and improvising a drastic but believable image of innocence. He had to get out of this in one piece. He picked up the file of Yusufumi, 

“The Yakuza also has gems like Yusufumi. He worked as an FX department for the Fever Dreams Production company, working on classics such as Tokio Gore police,” Detective Shimizu flinched at that, an unexpected but welcome twist. “Sue me if I want my best friend's face to look somewhat decent on the day of his funeral, so his family and loved ones can grieve properly. I know Yusufumi and I know what he is willing and not willing to do, and I deem him a good friend!”

He took a deep, shaky breath because going off at people was NOT his strong suit and he really did not have the voice or stamina for it.

He turned to Detective Sawamura.

“Yusufumi jumped in as my grandpa that read stories to me on holidays, and got me gifts for my birthdays, we go fishing every summer. My  _ real _ grandfather was too busy for me, because he had territorial fights with gangs and other Yakuza families. It is because of him that I always feared for my life, because of personal pettiness or ransom, so  _ please _ excuse me if I chose to not see him as family, but instead prefer the man whose biggest criminal activity was money laundering for the local clan.”

Kenma took a deep breath again as he sat down unsteadily. God this was exhausting. There was a reason he never did things like this. Kuroo had been way better at this.

Don’t think about Kuroo.

He had aimed to go somewhere with this, but honestly the screaming had left him a bit disoriented and dizzy. Ah yes, the Yakuza wasn’t his family.

Well, that part was true. They had never really clicked, despite Kenma putting in every effort to make it work. Eh, the bone structure of his statement was close enough to the truth, and he could stand by it come what may, and hold up if being further researched into.

And everything he said about Yusufumi was true too. So no matter what he said it fact checked out.

Detective Sawamura coughed awkwardly, which meant Kenma had succeeded in startling both of the detectives. Good.

“Well, as you…” Sawamura coughed again to collect himself, “as you may know, it is illegal to hinder a police investigation by withholding valuable information.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Kenma said resentfully, “I was busy throwing  _ my best friend's funeral _ , as you know, who has been murdered, as you may also know, and I wasn’t keen on having the police at my throat when I would be busy planning that. It’s a big event and even tiny issues can throw everything into the water. Let alone being kept in holding because your family does some illegal shit and now your best friend is dead!”

He looked straight at Sawamura then.

“And let's be honest, if you had found out early in the investigation that I was related to the Saomoto clan, had you looked in any other direction? Or had you assumed ‘oh it was the yakuza guy’ and tried to find reasons it was me?”

Sawamura opened and closed his mouth. Shimizu, wisely, did not move at all, she just glared in Kenma’s general direction.

“I know what the Yakuza is capable of,” Kenma concluded, in a small and calm voice, “why do you think I paid Kenji’s debt to them when I heard of it?”

That shocked both detectives, visibly.

Well that worked better than expected as well. 

“Do you know anyone in your clan that could have done it?” Sawamura asked. Shimizu looked at him in a way that showed that she was not on board with this conclusion, but also wasn’t going to make a scene to stop him.

Kenma just could not believe that Sawamura was kind enough to give him such an out here. Instead of going to prison himself or throwing a friend under the bus, he could just bust Yakuza people at random. Ideal way out.

He scoured through the files, looking for people he didn’t like and that had strong enough motives to actually kill Kuroo.

Five people deep he offhandedly mentioned, “you don’t have the Haiba family in this.”

Whelp he HAD planned on letting Lev take the fall if it came down to it, but if he could avoid it he would have preferred not to. Especially now that he could make actual enemies take that fate.

The detectives looked at each other and then at Kenma.

“Haiba, as in Haiba Lev, the guy that had been helping you with the funeral?”

Welp, there was no way out now, so he had to run with it. Sorry Lev.

“Yea Lev and his sister and mother were originally russian Mafia property, but were imported as ransom to the Yakuza clan here. Lev has only been here since he was ten, even if his papers state otherwise.”

Kenma absolutely RAVELLED in the shock the cops visibly showed on their faces. He had to hold back on his own reaction to not show that everything was according to plan.

Whelp except for Lev having to bite the bullet for him. Which had been part of the original plan but then briefly an excellent widow of escape had opened and Kenma had been careless enough to immediately close it.

Well Lev would celebrate that his history was not entirely known. It makes him sound like a cool action hero if you sold it right.

“Well I think that will be all for now.” Sawamura said, looking at his partner. She didn't seem entirely happy with the situation, but at least not as opposing as she had done before.

She turned to him.

“Thank you for the help, Kozume-san.”

Kenma deemed that his cue to go. He bowed politely to them as he got up to make his leave, but at the door decided to take a page out of one of the sleaziest people he knew, Suguru, and completely over-do it with his politeness.

He made a show out of turning around again and bowing as deeply as he physically could and said with as much conviction as he could muster,   
  
“Thank you for putting so much hard work into it, it is truly appreciated,” got back up, and left through the door to think about what he had just done and what it meant.

* * *

There was something Kuro had once said that had always bothered Kenma.

_ “You know, I love watching you make friends with people,” Kuro had said with his signature grin, “it’s like watching a cat hunt.” _

_ Kenma did not like that insinuation at all. _

_ “What do you mean by that?” _

_ “Well you can always tell what someone thinks of you. When they address you by last name there is a polite distance and possibly respect, but once you’re on first name basis,” Kuro leaned down to Kenma’s eye level, “they are ready to die for you.” _

_ “Is not true.” _

_ “Is.” Kuro disagreed. “Everytime someone calls you by your first name for the first time all I can hear is the sound of a trap snapping shut as a little mouse happily chews on some cheese you left there, unaware that you are a big, fat predatory cat standing behind them keeping eye.” _

_ Kenma glared at him somewhat for the comparison, but turned away from him. _

_ “You’re over exaggerating.” _

_ What he truly didn’t like about the notion though was that he couldn’t estimate in which camp that out Kuro. _

_ Because while Kuro called him by his first name the way all his friends did, Kenma in turn called him by a shortened version of his last name, unlike anyone else. _

_ So what was  _ their  _ relationship? _

_ — — _

‘The pigs have sniffed the truffle, time to make some cake’ Kenma texted Lev, meaning ’the police are onto us, time for phase C’.

‘I forgt what that means,’ Lev texted back.

Kenma rolled his eyes, ‘’ll tell you in person, don’t talk to anyone else’ he sent back.

Phase A had been the actual murder, phase B had been setting up a persona that could not possibly had committed the murder, including framing someone else if possible, and since the cops got too close it was time for phase C:

Overthrow the Yakuza since if everything went downhill he could not do that anymore. So time was of the essence.

First thing you need when overthrowing an entire organisation was allies on your side.

Preferably those that were already on your side already or had some personal feud against your common enemy and would follow you unconditionally if prompted.

Kenma had snooped out the clan for approximately his entire life, collecting data on everyone and suggesting solutions to various problems to see who would and would not listen to him.

So the variable members of allies in his overthrow attempt narrowed down to two.

Two more than nothing.

The first person was Yaku Morinozuke.

The Clan had blackmail on him.

Specifically black mail that they CREATED of him.

You see, there were videos of Yaku.

Young Yaku.

Quite young Yaku.

The sort he probably wanted to forget but couldn’t.

The sort the clan held over his head and threatened to utilise if he didn’t heed their commands.

The sort that made any sort of treatment and task tame in comparison to what happened in the videos.

Compared to what would happen if they were utilised in ways the various clan members had threatened, and several times almost followed through with.

Kenma could understand why Yaku didn’t want those videos around, existing.

Wanted his memories deleted probably.

Certainly wanted revenge.

Kenma had never watched the videos, he knew most the people in the clan had, and that he liked to collect all sorts of data on people just to have a hand over them, but he knew what happened in them from hearsay, and for his purposes that was enough.

He didn’t like to think about the content of the videos, and the power abuse they had caused the poor guy.

Kenma was strictly against unnecessary cruelty, particularly that for personal pleasure.

It was messy.

Yaku Morinozuke always had a keen ear for Kenmas ideas, showed him basic respect, and had a personal feud against the clan. A perfect member for his squad.

Kenma entered headquarters. He greeted a few people in passing, mentally double checking their place on his hit list.

A lot laughed or scoffed or deliberately ignored him. Having their names underlined on his list. One threw a bagel at his head when he passed, that one would die first.

His phone lit up, telling him that Kenji had tagged him in his big group chat, because the police was looking for him. Sucks to be them.

“You better hurry up, Monkey!”

He found Yaku.

He scattered kind of forlornly through the head quarters, arm full of files.

Yaku had been part of the clan probably about as long as Kenma, since he joined quite young. Kenma knew that, because of the black mail, he was frequently to be used as an errant boy, or as the other members phrased it, ‘a monkey to do their bidding’.

Including things like doing impossible errants with vague tasks that were impossible to solve.

Kenma could already hear faint giggling from behind him.

Well the poor guy had files in his arms, and there was only one person that was  _ that _ orderly while part of an underground crime organisation that prided itself on not abiding to laws and regulations.

“Looking for the boss, Yaku-kun?”

Yaku looked at him, startled, then sighed.

“Yeah, apparently he needs the files ‘super urgently’ but I honestly can’t find him anywhere.”

“He’s out today,” Kenma responded, “he’ll be coming back for the celebration tonight.”

Yaku made a severely dissatisfied face. Understandably.

“I have the keys to his office though, I can bring you there and you can drop them, technically you will have done as you were told.”

Yaku sighed deeply.

“Thanks, Kozume-san, you are a lifesaver.”

“Just Kenma is fine,” they went to the boss office.

After a moment Yaku said, “wait, why do you have the keys to that room?”

Kenma shrugged.

“Doesn’t hurt.”

Yaku laughed.

“You certainly are one of a kind, Kozume-san.”

A whistle from a by-passer.

Yaku pulled his shoulder up, eyes wide open, shrunken in on himself. The light hearted laugh from before long gone, fear and trauma now consuming him.

Kenma looked back at the smug passerby, revelling in the reaction he got from the simple action.

“Didn’t you used to talk back to them when they did that?” Kenma asked, of course he knew most of the story already.

Yaku forced himself out of his shock lock. He nodded stiffly before saying, “I learned not to do that anymore.”

Excellent base for an ally in his plans.

“But you wish you could, without consequences.”

Yaku looked at him questioningly.

“You wish you could tell them where to shove it and make them feel what they have done to you for so many years, without them ever having a chance to lash back.”

“What are you insinuating?”

“What am I insinuating indeed. We are here.”

They stopped walking, and Kenma opened the door, waiting in the frame for Yaku to have dropped his stuff.

Yaku moved a lot slower than he had on the way there, quite visibly processing what had been going on. Good, very good. Put two-and-two together little kitten.

Yaku very slowly walked over to Kenma, a really undecided look on his face. Kenma had to suppress a grin with all his might.

“You are a smart guy, Kozume-san.” Kenma tried really, really hard to not grin like a cartoon villain. “What are you planning?”

“What am I planning indeed?” He couldn’t hide the sly cat grin now.

“I’m serious, Kozume, what are you up to?”

“Good question, Yaku-san,” Kenma said, leaning into Yaku’s personal space and continuing more silently, “do you want in?”

Yaku nodded, most enthusiastic but still stiff, like he was very keen but also still cautious.

“Okay,” Kenma said, as if he hadn’t planned this from the beginning, and closed the door on them, locking it from the inside, “so this is my plan so far…”

* * *

The next person was someone with an arguably equally tragic past, and a similar way of finding to the Yakuza. He hadn’t had the same sort of videos Yaku had, but he had tragic loss in his family.

Kai Noboyuki had borrowed money from the Yakuza.

Or more specifically, his parents had.

He had three sisters with crigglar-najjar, a terminal blood disease, that they got quite young, and since the medical bills for three terminally sick children got too much, Kai’s parents had to borrow money.

Money that came and came, but the kids never got better, and eventually the Yakuza didn’t pay anymore.

Too far in debt, and more than half of their kids on the deathbed, the Kai parents broke.

Kai Ayume committed suicide, not being able to deal with the pressure, Kai Haroko ran away.

Leaving a fourteen year old Kai Noboyuki with three sisters slowly wasting away.

And all the Yakuza debt his father had left behind.

So Kai had no outside attachments, and he had a personal feud against the Yakuza, and he was one of the few people that appreciated Kenma’s dry and witty humour, and one of the few that offered him help in the past if he needed it.

Technically speaking, he even owed Kenma a favour.

Also technically speaking, Kenma was doing  _ him _ a favour.

Now to sell the prompt to him.

Kai wasn’t pushed around by the rest of the clan, the same way Yaku was, in fact, he was more or less left alone by them.

If not outright ignored even.

Which gave him a lot of freedom Yaku didn’t have, but presumably also equally little connection to other people.

Kenma decided that it would be beneficial to become one of the few connections he would have.

“Kai-kun?” He asked the other.

Kai Noboyuki drank a coffee, by himself.

He looked like the epitome of all things calm and collected, but considering his background Kenma assumed there was a storm cooking under there, waiting to be released.

“Kozume-kun, what can I do for you?”

So polite, it truly was rare that the people of the Yakuza addressed Kenma in such a pleasant manner. If he didn’t have active plans for him in the raid, he would have been one of the people that Kenma had urged to stay at home that day.

“I have uh— something.” He held up a little teddy bear to Kai’s surprised face. “I know what happened to your sisters, and I uhm, I uh—“ Well, maybe he should have planned this through more than he had done. “I just lost someone that was like a brother for me, and that made me appreciate again what you went through, so here is a little present for your siblings.”

Kai looked absolutely gobsmacked.

“I— thanks. That is very considerate of you.”

Kenma waved him off, and shrugged awkwardly and avoided eye contact because honestly he wasn’t prepared enough for this.

“Do you… do you mind sitting down? Do you want a coffee with me?” Kai asked awkwardly, as if he was the one feeling inappropriate and intrusive.

Kenma shrugged very silently again, but then remembered why he had chosen this time of all times.

“Don’t you do your tours at this time?” 

Kai opened his eyes in surprise.

“I didn’t mean to be nosey,” well, at least not as outwardly so, “but I noticed that you usually see your sisters around this time.”

Kai smiled in this gentle, very soothing way he had.

“I do. I shall go now, if you don’t mind.”

Kenma shook his head, and before his social anxiety could tell him to not be a dumbass ass he quickly said, “do you mind if I come with?”

Kai stopped, surprised again.

“If I— If I come with that may help with,” he swallowed thickly, “Kuro.”

God, there was a lot more honesty in his words than he had intended.

Kai smiled. “Not at all, it would be lovely to have you with.”

Kenma nodded and trotted after him.

——

The graves of the Kai sisters were in one of those modern graveyards, the sort where you put the urn and a few memorabilia on a little shrine you rent, they got mass stored and almost futuristically put out by machine when you ordered for them.   
  
The pastel lighting and modern atmosphere were actually quite pleasant and even dignified, even if these were some of the cheapest graves on the market.

But no matter how cheap it was though, with no real income, paying the rent for three graves simultaneously must be hard for Kai.

They kneeled before the urns and pictures and memorabilia of the three sisters and paid their respects for a moment, before getting out cleaning stuff to keep the graves up to date.

Kenma knew that Kai did this once a week, always at the same time. He should probably adopt a similar habit for Kuro’s grave.

Don’t think about Kuro.

“I know what they made you do,” Kai said after only a moment, startling Kenma, “it wasn’t pretty.”

Kenma looked at him, shell shocked. He had honestly not expected this.

He went back to dust a crayon picture of what he assumed was the Kai family, crudely drawn by a passionate eight-year-old. It showed three little girls laughing, in each other's arms, and a fourth person whom Kenma assumed to be Noboyuki, standing behind them, looking solemn, as if he were watching over them.   
  
The paper was crinkled beyond the point of return, the top of it waved in a way that wet and dried paper was, and the frame was made of ice cream sticks and too much glue.

“It wasn’t their fault, really. I was put before a choice and I made my decision.” He put the picture frame back on the altar and took the next frame. “Do not recommend it, there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t regret it.”

Kai smiled calmly. “Your honesty is refreshing, Kozume-san. What was the choice?”

Kenma stopped his work, staring on ahead.

“Very early on in my life I wanted to be a high ranking horse in the Yakuza. Quite early on they decided I wasn’t fit for it. My whole life I tried to prove myself to them, but every single time I was just waved off.”

He put the picture frame back and picked up a flute, presumably one of the girls’, and cleaned that instead.

“Then, two weeks ago, they said I had to prove my trust, and for that I had to eliminate my only weakness: Kuro.”

Kai said ‘ah’ gently, understanding where this story was going.

“I don’t half-ass my work, and when I have a goal I follow it. Kuro had to go.” Kenma stopped working. “I was so obsessed with following my goal that I didn’t appreciate the truest friend I ever had. I did a mistake I cannot undo, and after all that I have yet to have any respect from my peers, let alone the job I was promised.”

“I understand,” Kai said, in this calm and honest tone of voice, as if he truly understood and appreciated Kenma’s struggles.

“He wasn’t even mad at me, or disappointed,” Kenma added, silently, avoiding eye contact with Kai again, “up until the end he supported my goal. His last words were ‘good luck’, and ‘no regrets’.”

Kai laid a hand on Kenma’s back, somehow filling him with a warmth and comfort that felt almost foreign to him.

Kai Noboyuki sure was a case of his own.

Kai removed his hand and Kenma lit and inscent.

“Tell me about your sisters.”

Kai blinked surprised.

“Really?”

“Well, they must be dear to you, if you still tend to them.” He did quick and silent prayers. “Not to speak of the fact that you listened to my melodrama.”

Kai chuckled in a very pleasant, and deep way.

“Alright, if you don’t mind.” He pointed at a girl with curly pigtails and a sparkle in her eye that promised trouble and mischief. With how identical the triplets were it was really only the hair and poses that held them apart to the foreign eye.

“That’s Sayaka. She was the artistic one of the troupe. She always sang and doodled a lot and got into a lot of trouble because she couldn’t sit still or be quiet or hold back on drawing with anything on anything. She was quite the energy ball right until the very end, and somehow she always had a smile on her face and never a regret in her heart, even when she was told off a lot.”

Another girl, with a ponytail and a serious look on her face.

“Kotone. She was the fighter of the group she…” Kai’s words died in his throat for a moment, but then he swallowed thickly and continued on, “she was the one that lasted the longest of them all. I almost thought she would make it, she never backed out of anything, she was headstrong and capable. But in the end…” Kai stopped. Kenma had the urge to tell him that he didn’t need to continue, but then he caught himself and carried on.

The last girl. She looked to be the most calm out of all of them. Her hair was open and her eyes were calm. She looked the most like her brother, but there was a solemn calm on her face, not the good and cheerful kind Noboyuki had.

“Tomo. She was the most musically inclined of the lot. She put a lot of effort into her musical studies, always had a tune on her lips or in her fingertips. I think she concentrated on the music to distract from…” he swallowed thickly again, but soldiered on, “she would often play something on her flute, or any instrument she could get her fingers on, and Sayaka would sing for her. Her voice carried quite loud and clear when she wanted to, they made beautiful music and had bright futures.”

_ It never hits the right people _ , Kenma thought.

It was Kenma’s turn to put a hand on Kai’s back. He didn’t know what to say. The other smiled a little though, so the gesture must have helped.

“How long can you maintain this?” Kenma asked, attempting to prompt a conversation that swerved in his favour.

Kai looked shocked again, then his eyes went glassy, he was really, really holding back a dam of emotions.

“I don’t know, I honestly don’t know anymore.”

Kenma got up.

“If you want I can sponsor this. I know what the clan cares for and what they dispose of, and this will not last much longer.”

Kai looked at him with big eyes, “you would do that?”

Kenma grinned at him in a way that felt quite Kuro-like in all honesty.

“I  _ do _ have my own money after all, and I know what’s ought to be valued.”

Kai looked down at his knees for a moment, but then he got up as well, towering over Kenma with his sheer height he grinned softly at him.

“Okay, I bite. You are clever and you have a plan. What is this sponsorship really about?”

“Well,” Kenma said, grinning proudly, unable to hold himself back, “if you  _ really _ want in, I can tell you of course…”

* * *

Kenma mentally shuffled through all his notes of what he would need and how he would get it as he quite literally ran into someone. He was about to apologise when he realised who it was.

“Toshunuki-san?”

Local Gang member Toshunuki Yato, formally known as Kuroneko-san, informally known as Postman-kun looked Kenma up and down.

“You seem familiar… You’re Tetsuro’s friend, aren’t you?” He took a step back to bow to Kenma. “I am sorry for your loss.”

Kenma was gobsmacked by it all, but pulled himself together to answer the bow in kind.   
  
Then he remembered something that had been bothering him for a while.

“Say, you were quite close to Kuro, weren’t you? How did you guys even meet?”   
  
Postman-kun glowed over his entire face.

“We read the same magical girl manga!”

What?   
  
Postman-kun went off without any further prompting.

“Tetsuro and I met by chance in a book store once. We reached for the last copy of Madoka Magica at the same time. This was before the big plot twist was a widely known fact and it was all new. I rarely meet a guy my age that reads the same stuff as I, so that was super cool.”

Kenma’s brain took about quadruple time to process this information. These news were equally as dumb as they were totally possible since they were regarding Kuro.   
  
“I told him how I go by Kuroneko because I want a cool cat name but people keep calling me postman behind my back because of the postal system and he told me his name was ‘Black tail’ and that he went to ‘Kitty high’ and honestly that’s the coolest fucking thing anyone has ever said to me and we became friends for life.”   
  
Kenma had to suppress a loud groan about the fact that out of all the ways Kuro could befriend the leader of the gang whose territory covered their home and school it would be  **that** .   
  
Although it was very in character of him.

Then a thought hit him, he’d never have an opportunity like that again.   
  
“Hey Toshunuki-kun, you were quite close to Kuro, right? Do you want to help me avenge him?”   
  
Toshunuki listened attentively, and Kenma’s plan was suddenly working far, far better than originally anticipated.

* * *

Noboyuki, Morinozuke, and Lev stared in awe at all the guns in front of them on the table.   
  
“Have any of you ever held a gun before?” Kenma asked.   
  
They all shook their heads.   
  
“Well that’s okay, I figured as much.” He pushed a shotgun to Morinozuke and a hunting rifle to Noboyuki. “Your main goal is to just shoot aimlessly and wildly, if possible. I want you to hunt and chase mostly. If you hit someone that is a bonus, but the actual killing and execution will be done by the support waiting outside.”   
  
A manic grin spread over Morinozuke’s face as he handled his weapon in his hands.   
  
“Oh this is gonna be good, I’m keen on killing some Yakuza skum.”   
  
“It won’t feel good at first, no matter how much you hate them,” Kenma said. He remembered how much time and how many tries it had taken him to get used to it, “taking a human life, no matter whose, is incredibly taxing the first couple of times. No matter how well you aim you will instinctively aim to miss. That’s alright, it’s human nature to not kill your fellow people, you would be a psychopath if it came that easy, I calculated that in. When you hit someone it will also shock you and you may not be willing to continue on. That’s also okay. Take a moment to gather again and continue chasing. We have buckets full of ammunition and we mainly aim to scare and impress, again, we have the Royal Snakes gang for the actual execution.”   
  
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Morinozuke said, looking confused in his face, “what exactly are your ties to the Royal Snakes, and why are they willing to help us?”   
  
Kenma sighed, sometimes he wished his life was glorious and epic.   
  
“Kuro befriended their leader because they read the same shojo manga, and now they are willing to avenge him.”   
  
“You serious?”   
  
“Yea, I’m serious.”   
  
Lev raised his hand like the high school student that he was.   
  
“You said you were going to give me one on one training for the whole shooting and killing thing.”   
  
“I will, but that will happen after, we need targets after all.”   
  
The audience nodded in understanding.   
  
“Alright,” Kenma said with a grin, “time to join a party.”   
  
\-------

Kenma checked his phone. Yusufumi sent him an update on the new Alice and Zorouku episode he watched at home, Toshinuki sent him confirmation that his people had set up camp around their location.   
  
Kenma sent them both a thumbs-up emoji and put his phone away.   
  
“Everybody clear on what they are to do?”   
  
His rack tag team of absolute zero’s nodded, much-appreciated determination in their eyes.   
  
“Alright then, let’s go in.”   
  
The building they entered was something akin to their headquarters. It was unusually full that day because a big anniversary was celebrated and everybody was getting intoxicated inside and being in a good mood.   
  
Kenma had actually not anticipated to use this date for his raid since it was certainly quite convenient, but too close to properly plan for.   
  
His very initial plan was to stand on stage along with a few other people, being grateful to be given a chance after all this time.   
  
But it never got that far, did it?   
  
He was left very ungrateful.

But he swallowed that down when he opened the door to the commotion and celebration.   
  
Drunk people all around him, cheering and having a good time. Perfect.   
  
The incredibly old Yoshiki finished his Karaoke on stage, and the whole gang clapped for him and he bowed exaggeratedly.   
  
As he left the stage Kenma sneakily took the microphone off him, cutting in line to the next person who wanted to sing, but signaled he just wanted to say a quick few words.   
  
Kenma stood on the stage, Lev, like some sort of lackey, stood just off it, waiting for his mark. Morinozuke and Noboyuki he had left outside the door, aiming to chase the people outside, and for them to chase them further. But for now, he had a different goal.   
  
He looked at the banner over him. 25 years. He honestly didn’t really know what exactly they were celebrating.   
  
“Let’s raise a glass to everything we have achieved in twenty-five years.” Kenma started. He got cheers and general hooligan noises from the crowd, seemingly keen to find this excuse to get more drunk.   
  
“25 years… that’s almost as long as I have been alive, and almost as long as I wanted to be part of your group.” Somewhat awkward silence from the crowd. “Let’s drink to all of you, and everything you have done.”   
  
Loud cheers from the crowd again, a few of them decent enough to remember his name to shout it up the stage.   
  


Kenma looked around the crowd, seeking inspiration.   
  
“Let’s drink to Yaosaki. Yea you can come out of your corner there. Let’s drink to when you tried to teach me how to ride a bike and thought it would be funny to push me and my unsteady bike down the steepest hill we have here. Bottoms up for you.”   
  
Cheers from the crowd trying to get more drunk.   
  
“Let’s raise a glass for Izumi up the front. She thought it would be funny to urge my volleyball seniors to boss and bully me around because I’m younger than them. What a funny prank, made for an interesting first year. Cheers to Izumi.”   
  
Cheers from the crowd in general as they all drank more. Except Izumi, who hesitantly drank from her cup, seemingly catching on that Kenma’s toasts weren’t quite what they seemed.

  
“Oh we can’t forget Yoyazu, who once set my school backpack and everything in it on fire because he thought it was funny. Talk about burning personality. Bottoms up guys!”   
  
Along with the cheers Kenma now got a lot of compliments attached to his name, being hailed as the mood maker that gave them all an excuse to drink.   
  
Izumi was increasingly more dissatisfied with everything going on. She didn’t drink anymore. She seemed ready to fight. Good, but too late.   
  
“Oh I have one more,'' Kenma said before he would give it his all, “let’s drink to Kizue. Excellent music choice tonight, as always. I remember when my mom hired you for my 15th birthday party and you only played primary school songs at full volume and refused to turn them off until everyone had left the party.” Kenma laughed loudly and wholeheartedly. “That was so funny of course. Kuro was the only one that didn’t leave, and instead sat through it with me. He still sometimes sings kid songs to annoy me.” Kenma got quieter then, ever brooding resentment and hatred slowly but surely boiling over within him. “But there is no Kuro anymore, is there?” He said softly. Then, far more loudly, he said, “to Kizue!”    
  
Loud cheers again from the crowd that got to drinking more and more. Except Izumi, who reached into her pants, presumably taking out some sort of weapon, but that was okay.   
  
“And to over 25 five years of being with you all!” Kenma yelled over the noise of the cheering crowd. “Fuck you all!”   
  
Hearing his keyword, Lev opened his Jacket and dual weld two machine guns just into the general crowd who got disturbed by the pain and the loud noise and the fact that they had been drinking more and more.   
  
Kenma did the same as Lev, also shooting into the crowd wildly and disturbingly loudly.   
  
Izumi threw a dagger at Kenma’s chest, which was a bad decision on her part because obviously, Kenma did not go into a raid unprepared. He and his team were bulletproof.

With a smile he aimed one of the guns at her and stood joyously as he watched her fall to the ground, joining a few others that were hit or simply just trampled over by the rest of the panicked people.   
  
Kenma and Lev chased the whole group out of the door, anyone standing or twitching was hit.   
  
Once outside the door Lev chased loudly after the general screaming crowd. Chicken and startled, unknowing where to go. Kenma in turn went the other direction, where Morinozuke had sunk to the ground.   
  
“Whatsa matter?” Kenma asked, a hand on Morinozuke’s shoulder.   
  
“I hit someone,” Morinozuke said, staring at a dead body not too far from them, “I killed him. I knew him. I mean he was an ass but--”   
  
“Yaku, look at me,” Kenma said. It took a moment but Yaku looked at him. 

“That’s okay. You can shoot people. That’s kind of the goal.”   
  
Morinozuke nodded, got up, and readjusted the riffles in his arms.   
  
“I’m gonna go pay payback.”   
  
Kenma clapped him proudly on the back and sent him off to a section where Lev and Noboyuki hadn’t gone, following him close behind.

Kenma shot into the general crowd of startled people, keeping an eye on Yaku who was screaming loudly, seemingly letting out all the rage.    
  
He watched as people squeezed themselves out of doors and windows, being met by the firing squad waiting outside.   
  
He sought out the people hiding and shooting back. He wouldn’t let all his planning go to waste because someone thought they could outsmart him.   
  
He watched as the place slowly emptied out, as people either fell and died, ran out and died, or threw themselves to the ground giving in.   
  
Everything settled down with time.   
  
He gave his crew instructions to tie up the people that were not dead yet. There were plans for them.

  
Kenma noted a wildness in Noboyuki’s eyes that he had not seen before.   
  
_ A raging storm just waiting to be released indeed. _ _   
_   
“Thanks for the opportunity, Kenma,”  _ Snap! _ He said in passing, “didn’t think I’d have the chance.”

“Have fun Noboyuki,” Kenma answered, watching proudly as Noboyuki went off with a manic cheer.   
  


He had one more place to go, and he had to go there without his crew.   
  
Going by what just happened though they were capable people, and Kenma could just let them do.   
  
At least Noboyuki and Morinozuke.   
  
Kenma tested the leader’s door.   
  
Locked.   
  
Well not like it mattered much.   
  
Kenma took his key out and entered the main office, closed the door behind himself and locked it to keep out unwanted guests.   
  
“Kozume, what are you doing here?”   
  
Saomoto Daiki, the leader of the Saomoto Yakuza clan.   
  
“Grandfather.”   
  
Father Yaozuke did not acknowledge that comment in any way.   
  
“I see you soundproofed this place enough that you have no idea what’s going on outside.”   
  
“I have no need for hooligans to interrupt my work. What do you want?”   
  
“I think you know already,” Kenma said, stepping closer, “and you also may know that I have not been given that, despite my efforts.”   
  
Saomoto Daiki pushed his chair a bit away from his desk, seemingly as if to get a weapon out from under it, trying to keep Kenma away.   
  
Kenma had modeled most of his life after this hero, so he knew that he was an excellent shot, and didn’t leave things like kills to dramatic timing or any form of chance, so he stopped approaching.   
  
For now.   
  
“As you may know I do not shy away from effort or sacrifice to get what I want, and I have made quite a big sacrifice, and I have yet to get what I want.”   
  
Saomoto spoke into the landline on his desk.   
  
“Shizue.”   
  
“There is no Shizue, she was in Noboyuki’s section.”   
  
Yaozuke looked at him concerned and confused.   
  
“That’s the boy whose sisters you let die in a hospital and whom you left in great debt with you.” Kenma shrugged. “Boy was quite angry and had nothing to lose. I think he let it out though.”   
  
Saomoto spoke into the landline again.   
  
“Shoso.”   
  
“Ah, I think Shoso was Morinozuke’s section. There may have even been a personal feud there, I don’t know.”   
  
Saomoto’s eyes widened in fear and more confusion.   
  
“Oh, Morinozuke is that guy you made child pornography of, just so you know. Talk about releasing pent up anger, am I right?”   
  
“Aoi.”   
  
“That’s the first person Lev killed. Went down easy, such a delicate girl.”   
  
Saomoto formed noiseless words with his dumb mouth.   
  
“Then again, Lev was never loyal to you in the first place.”   
  
“What do you want?” Saomoto asked with a weak, and trembling voice.   
  
“Your seat.”    
  
Within the same move, Kenma pulled up a gun that hit Saomoto right in the face, mere moments before the bullet Saomoto shot ever reached him.   
  
Well it was a close miss, to his credit.   
  
Kenma watched as his grandfather, his own flesh and blood, bled out in the throne he wanted all his life. Not unlike Kuro had done at the cafe.   
  
It was so eventless though. Somewhat boring.   
  
And almost jarringly impactless, particularly compared to Kuro’s death.   
  
What a disappointment.   
  
Kenma went to work, searching through the office to find anything useful or in any way interesting that he wanted.   
  
To his surprise, a lot of things that he had put on his mental list of loot before, didn’t seem as appealing as before.   
  
A nice pen and notebook set, a few clothes and bags and folders. They had lost their value and charm somehow. Kenma could just create his own imposing office, with his own charm and his own history and his own funds.   
  
It was all...   
  
Very disappointing.   
  
Very eventless.   
  
Within Saomoto’s desk though he saw something that piqued his interest, even though it revealed a sick aspect of his grandfather’s interests that he much rather not had known.   
  
The raws of certain videos, of a certain ally being quite young.   
  
Kenma took them with. They were basically the only things he took.   
  
He opened the door, well talk about certain allies.   
  
“Here you are Kozume, we were looking for you, we’re finished with the setup.”   
  
Kenma looked at the raws in his hands, and at Morinozuke and back at his raws a few times. Struggling to find words.   
  
“I have something for you, found them in the old man’s desk.” He said eventually.   
  
Morinozuke looked at them somewhat confused before enlightenment shone in his eyes.   
  
“Is this—”   
  
“The raws. Do with them what you like.”   
  
Something shimmered in Morinozuke’s eyes, although Kenma couldn’t quite place what.   
  
“Thank you, Kenma.”   
  
  


_ Snap! _

Kenma couldn’t hold back a grin.   
  
“You’re welcome, Morinozuke.” Morinozuke grinned at him bigly, almost innocent.   
  
“You guys ready for some role play?”   
  
\-------

“Is that… bows?” Kenma asked, upon inspecting the crop of people they had tied up for further purposes.   
  
“I’m tidy, okay?” Morinozuke said, blushing hard. “And it’s not like they’re easy to open. They’re all properly tied up under the bows. We also took all their blades and other weapons like you said.”   
  
Kenma nodded. He went around and checked all the faces.   
  
Most of them were people he cared about very little, then others were on his personal shit list, and they moved way high up on the order of practice dummies.   
  
  


There was Furukawa, who had held Kenma his personal fool and made him kill Kuro for shits and giggles.

“We’re starting with this one. Noboyuki, I’ll need your help.”   
  
With the help of the much taller and stronger Noboyuki, Kenma set up the first target.   
  
Across from Furukawa sat Lev, waiting like a good boy for his sign.   
  
The goal of the entire skit was to recreate the night where Kuro died, to make Lev practice what happened so that he would have an airtight statement to give the police tomorrow.   
  
It was also meant to get Lev used to killing. Being a newbie to it all it would be quite hard to get your mind and body to overcome human instincts of protection.   
  
Like how it had been for Kenma in the beginning.   
  
“For now I just want you to aim for his face. Just shoot him in the head, that’s all.”   
  
Lev nodded, holding in his hand a similar model gun that Kenma had used that night.   
  
The recreation was uncanny. The booth, the empty coffee cups, the gun.   
  
The only lacking feature was the big window, and the only added element was that his booth partner was entirely tied up like in some sort of adventure movie.   
  
Where had been certainty in Lev’s eyes before was suddenly fear and confusion.   
  
He shot.   
  
He missed.   
  
The tied-up Furukawa whinseled and cried undignified waterfalls. Morinozuke and Noboyuki had done a good job at the muzzles.   
  
“That’s okay, shoot again.”   
  
**Boom** .   
  
He hit.   
  
The dummy bleed out on the table, much like Kuro had done.   
  
“Excellent work, how was it.”   
  
“Terrifying.”   
  
“That’s good, that’s okay. Let’s get the next.”   
  
They went through a handful of dummies before Lev got steady in his hand and Kenma got bored with the action.   
  
Then the pop quizzed him on details of the murder. Morinozuke and Noboyuki had gotten dress-up supplies from somewhere, and pretended to be noire detectives who were very close to figuring out that Lev lied.   
  
They all seemed to have a lot of fun, and Toshunuki sent Kenma a text asking where they were.   
  
Just one more thing to do.   
  
He called Shoyou.   
  
“Hey, can we talk, we need to be alone.”   
  
\-- --   
  
This was the most exciting part.   
  
While he had looked forward to avenging his friend and paying revenge for all the things that were done wrong by him, the part where he would confront Shoyou was what excited him the most.   
  
He was both looking forward to it and also surely running another stress fever. What took him so long?   
  
Someone entered through the front door.   
  
“Shoyou, there you are, come on in.”   
  
Shoyou, still in his police uniform despite the late hour, and with a cautious gun in his hand, sneaked through the front door, examining his surroundings.   
  
Dead and bled out Yakuza everywhere, surely some known names and faces somewhere there in the crowd. Shoyou looking around in increasing confusion, until he eventually looked at Kenma.   
  
“What is all this?”   
  
“Welcome to my humble abode,” Kenma declared with pride, “make yourself at home.”   
  
Shoyou stepped closer furthermore, still cautious, still with a gun in his hands.   
  
“Kenma, what’s going on?” He asked, much more concerned than Kenma had hoped. After all that talk about having a fun rivalling relationship with the Yakuza he had hoped for some sort of mutually beneficial deal, surely Shoyou wouldn’t just drop him like that.   
  
“Well my family is Yakuza, but they did me wrong, so I removed them.” He waved his hands defensively. “But don’t be concerned, they were all skum anyways, it’s Yakuza after all.”   
  
Shoyou’s trembling arms slowly raised themselves to point the gun in his hands at Kenma’s face, big, fretful eyes looking at him.   
  
“You are a murderer.”   
  
“It’s Yakuza skum, this hardly count as murder. It’s barely even a loss!”

  
Kenma felt himself trembling, Kuro was a murder, and sure as hell a loss.

“In the name of the Tokio police department I shall take you, Kozume Kenma and all of your allies under arrest—“

“Oh come on, Shoyou, don’t do this to us,” Kenma rolled his eyes, this was inconvenient, really inconvenient and not according to plan at all. Anger and frustration made his hands form into shaky fists.

“— for the murder of various individuals and possibly also one Kuroo Tetsuro—“

Kenma raised his own gun at Shoyou’s head, he knew too much.

Fear reflected in Shoyou’s eyes as he faced his own demise, too shocked to continue talking.

Kenma had taught Lev and Kuro how to shoot and use a knife and their fists if there were ever a situation of self defence, so he knew he would hit his mark.

But no amount of preparation had helped Kuro in the end. In fact, it had been Kenma himself that had killed him.

Kenma looked at the primal, animal fear that Shoyou’s eyes portrayed, facing death for the first time head on, not much unlike how Kuro had once looked, facing down a similar sort of barrel with the same person at the other end of it.

And he could only think,

_ Not another Kuro _ .

He shot the shoulder.

Shoyou went down like a sack of potatoes, knees giving in beneath him and he kept staring at Kenma like some sort of prey animal facing a predator. Unprepared for what’s to come, unbelieving of his circumstance.

Kenma stepped closer, leaning over the other.

“Everything that happens to me or my friends happens to Natsu.”

Shoyou formed desperate but silent words with his mouth.

“Leave, Officer Hinata. Get back up, we won’t be here when you come back.”

With shaking legs Shoyou got up. He looked through Kenma’s face for a long moment, before stumbling away, outside of the building.

The only thing left to do now was leave.

_ A c h i n g _ pain in his chest bled out through his entire body, and he  _ heard _ a loud wailing noise before he realised that he produced it.

Thick tears streamed from his eyes, burning hot on his skin, as his knees gave out beneath him and he sank to the ground.

He didn’t want to cry, really, really didn’t want to. He did not have the time for it.

But a cramping pain was in his throat and no matter how much he wanted to pull himself together and leave he could not do it.

He could not get up.

His new allies would see him and lose all respect and—

And he had lost Kuro and it had all been his fault. Kuro was so good for him, too good for him. He didn’t deserve him and then just tossed him in the trash when inconvenient.

And then the universe had played a cruel joke on him with Shoyou, promising a fun new relationship that could have been as intimate as what he had with Kuro. But it had all been a lie, all been for nothing.

Nothing was real and nothing mattered and his vocal chords ached from the screams, and his heart contracted as if it were to give in like he did.

No point, no place to go, just pain, pain, pain!

All for nothing, he had lost everyone dear to him, everyone that truly knew him.

He vaguely heard police sirens, and blue light reflected off the walls around him.

“We need to leave,” a familiar voice said far away from him, a warm hand on his shoulder, a million yards away seeking his attention.

He vaguely registered getting up and walking away.

He didn’t know where he ended up. It was cold and dark and clammy and outside.

And he wasn’t alone.

“You guys stayed,” he said with a dying voice.

“Well we could hardly stay behind,” Morinosuke said, as if there was anything even close to bemusing about the whole situation.

Kenma wiped his tears away, how uncool, how lame.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”

Noboyuki shook his head.

“It honestly was quite refreshing, seeing a weak side of you. Makes it almost seem like you are human like us,” the bastard had the audacity to wink. 

And Kenma honestly could not keep back a small laugh.

“I’m starving,” Lev complained, “can we go eat? I have a long day tomorrow.”

Kenma nodded several times to catch up with his own plans.

“Yes, let’s meet up with the others.”

— —

Kenma’s stomach grumbled audibly as they arrived at the bar. He ordered copious amounts of bar food for himself and Lev and got drinks for everybody as an afterthought.

A hand clapped his back with a lot of force.

“How’d things go?” Toshunuki asked, “you guys took forever.”

After a long break Kenma said, “good.”

“Bullshit,” Morinozuke intervened, “our dear Kenma got his heart broken.”

Toshunuki gasped in genuine shock, “not again!”

_ God not another one _ , Kenma thought, already considering changing his order into something more strong, but their order came.

“Oh, finally, food!” Lev exclaimed, mauling a large plate of fries, “couldn’t eat at school today.”

“Here,” Kenma said, pushing a mojito in Lev’s direction, “you’ll need it.”

“So I don’t know ya’ll,” the barkeeper, a pretty lady with a blond bob, said, “but I’m aint serving minors.”

Half the mojito was already gone at this point.

“He’ll be going to prison tomorrow, he deserves a little break before he has to spend a lifetime behind bars.”

The bartender opened her mouth, a large question mark in her face, but she couldn’t get her words out.

“It’s better not to ask honestly.”

She opened her mouth again, but wisely chose to follow Kenma’s advice.

“So what are your plants from now on,” Toshonuki asked, “for the future and all that?”

Kenma stirred his bloody mary.

“We trained Lev to pose as Kuro’s murderer. He doesn’t need to be convincing, he’ll have a motive that checks and the correct murder weapon and other proof. When a case is closed a case is closed.”

“Motive doesn’t check out,” Lev chimed in, mouth full of food, “I wouldn’t kill Kuroo-san out of jealousy. Kuroo-san was cool and I liked him a lot, but Kenma-san said it would make a good image so I’ll do it.” He shovelled the last of his fries into his food hole.

Kenma was a bit startled by the remark, but continued his report.

”I also checked out the prison beforehand. One of my cousins is in there, and he is keen to have an eye on Lev while he’s in there, since he considers him ‘cool and interesting’,” you really get places when you tell the regular food delivery driver to take a day off and leave his uniform in your care. Mostly it’s an aid when the cops want to look into your contacts, presumably seeking for instances of you paying visitation to the local youth prison. Technically speaking Kenma had never been there, no official contacts except for said loosely related cousin, “not to speak of the fact that Lev is tall and imposing and won’t really need much aid either way.”

He meant to drink only a little, but by the time he put his glass down his drink was almost empty. Man, raids were draining.

“As of tomorrow we’ll need to find a new headquarters. I have already scooped out a place, a bit more in the suburbs and a bit smaller. The current headquarters runs over my grandfather's name, but since he’s gone,” he swirled his drink around, “it’ll probably go to my mother, or my aunt. I’m just glad I don’t have to clean that up.”

Kenma looked down at the bar, and then up at the ceiling, and then at Toshunuki.

“I think that’s about as detailed as I have planned.”

Toshunuki whistled.

“Is gonna be exciting. Hey, hit us up if you need us again, tonight was fun, and you seem like the kind of guy we should keep our eyes on.”

Kenma gratefully raised his mostly empty glass to the guy, a small smile on his face.

Toshunuki scrunched his eyebrows, more questions appearing on his face.

“Say, you sent a lot of incriminating texts to us, won’t the police find them and have proof against the whole Lev thing and towards us and all?”

Kenma looked at him for a long moment.

“Well, it’s my work phone.”

Next to them, Morinozuke sprayed his drink everywhere.

“Something the matter?” Kenma asked.

“No it’s just,” Morinozuke answered, struggling to talk, “that’s such a normal thing to say, considering the circumstances.” Morinozuke evidently held back laughter.

Kenma didn’t get it.

“Well, it’s paid with unofficial money and it doesn’t even run on my name. I have it for instances such as this.”

“Well sure but,” Morinozuke answered, struggling to talk still, evidently still quite shaken from Kenma Yakuza work phone, “it’s so  _ mundane _ .”

Kenma grinned then, we’ll if he liked that…

“Do you know what I encrypt my message traffic with?” Morinozuke shook his head. “With today’s sponsor: ExpressVPN.”

Morinozuke laughed out loud, absolutely losing it, face running red and tears in his eyes.

Kenma couldn’t hold back a little smile. Next to him, Lev had fallen asleep between three empty snack bowls and two empty glasses.

The bartender came over again.

“Is he going to be okay?” She asked, looking unconvinced at the lightly snoring Lev.

Kenma laid a hand on Lev’s shoulder, feeling his chest softly move with every breath. “He is tough, he is going to be fine.” Then he emptied his drink and held the empty glass to the bartender.

“I’ll have the same thing again, uh…”

“Name’s Saeko, if you’re looking for that.”

“Alright Saeko-san, the bartender. Another bloody mary for me, and a round for everyone else as well.”

Cheers from all around him, and a single loud snore from Lev. And with the sound of all of his companions Kenma thought to himself,

_ I can do this _ .

  
  
  
  



End file.
